Tell us a joke Page 97

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th April 2015, 6:53 AM BST

A Native American brave was curious as to how he had received his name. So he went to speak to his father, the chieftain of the tribe.
"Father," he asked, "how is it that I acquired my name?"
"Well, my son, I named you and both of your brothers for an event which occurred on the day each of you were born. For example, the day your eldest brother was born, I saw a deer running swiftly through the forest, so I named him Deer Running Swiftly.
"Likewise, when your middle brother was born, the rain was pouring hard outside of the wigwam, so I named him Rain Pouring Hard...
"Why do you ask, Horse Galloping?"

View original

That's an old one & the last time I heard it the last name was "TwoDogsF**king"

Um... That was the point. It's an old joke so you're expecting the old punch-line but...
Sorry if that wasn't clear.

Quote: billwill @ 24th April 2015, 11:36 AM BST

That's an old one & the last time I heard it the last name was "TwoDogsF**king"

View original

I think that punchline was better actually. The new one just isn't funny.

Oh dear. It's an old joke so you're expecting the classic punch-line but there isn't one. That's the point!

This is like when I joked, 'My name is Michael Monkhouse, which is cool 'cos if you change some of the letters, take some letters away, then add other letters and then change them all again, you get 'Cameron Diaz'.' The guy looked at me thoughfully and then said, 'Yes but that doesn't mean much. You could do that with any name. You'd LIKE it to be significant, but I'm sorry to disappoint you, it doesn't indicate anything really.'

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th April 2015, 12:19 PM BST

Oh dear. This is like when I joked, 'My name is Michael Monkhouse, which is cool 'cos if you change some of the letters, take some letters away, then add other letters and then change them all again, you get 'Cameron Diaz'.' The guy looked at me thoughfully and then said, 'Yes but that doesn't mean much. You could do that with any name. You'd LIKE it to be significant, but I'm sorry to disappoint you, it doesn't indicate anything really.'

View original

That's OK but what's so funny about Horse Galloping?

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th April 2015, 11:50 AM BST

Um... That was the point. It's an old joke so you're expecting the old punch-line but...
Sorry if that wasn't clear.

View original

Well it helps if the new variant is actually funny instead of like a kids bedtime story.

Hello Brick wall. Here is my head.
I was taking the piss. There's this really old joke that everyone knows. You're waiting for the punch-line but then that rug's pulled from under you: there's NO punchline. It IS just a story.
PS My wife went to the West Indies. - Jamaica? - Yes, that's the name of the place she went to.

Quote: billwill @ 24th April 2015, 12:22 PM BST

Well it helps if the new variant is actually funny instead of like a kids bedtime story.

View original

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th April 2015, 12:30 PM BST

Hello Brick wall. Here is my head.
I was taking the piss. There's this really old joke that everyone knows. You're waiting for the punch-line but then that rug's pulled from under you: there's NO punchline. It IS just a story.

View original

OK. I understand now.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th April 2015, 12:19 PM BST

Oh dear. It's an old joke so you're expecting the classic punch-line but there isn't one. That's the point!

This is like when I joked, 'My name is Michael Monkhouse, which is cool 'cos if you change some of the letters, take some letters away, then add other letters and then change them all again, you get 'Cameron Diaz'.' The guy looked at me thoughfully and then said, 'Yes but that doesn't mean much. You could do that with any name. You'd LIKE it to be significant, but I'm sorry to disappoint you, it doesn't indicate anything really.'

View original

A house walks into a bar and the barman says Why the long face?
The horse reply's "My dad just died!"

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th April 2015, 12:30 PM BST

PS My wife went to the West Indies. - Jamaica?

View original

No it was her idea.

I'm on a sea-food diet. I can only eat food from the sea - fish, mussels, that kind of thing.
Take my wife! She's a prime example of that of which I speak.
A horse goes into a bar. Barman says, 'Why the long cock?'
My wife went to the West Indies. - Jamaica? - No, somewhere else I think.

Quote: Nick81 @ 31st March 2015, 6:09 PM BST

A peeping Tom walks into a bra...

View original

Ronnie Corbett walks into a bra.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Albert.
Albert who?
Albert Robertson. I just moved in next door, which means I'm your new next door neighbour, and I just popped by to introduce myself. How do you do?
Oh cool! How do you do? Would you like to come in for a coffee?
That's very kind but I'm still in the throes of moving house! That said, we're holding a house-warming party tomorrow night and you're more than welcome to join.
Sounds fine! See you around.
Yes! (laughs) You probably will!!!!

There was a girl called Victoria
Who once played for Sampdoria
She got her kicks
From scoring hat-tricks
For years fans were in euphoria.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 24th April 2015, 12:30 PM BST

Hello Brick wall. Here is my head.
I was taking the piss. There's this really old joke that everyone knows. You're waiting for the punch-line but then that rug's pulled from under you: there's NO punchline. It IS just a story.
PS My wife went to the West Indies. - Jamaica? - Yes, that's the name of the place she went to.

View original

So the technigue is:

1. Take an old joke that was so good and worked so well it became well known
2. destroy the punchline
3. call it new wave down beat comedy

I have news for you: It doesn't work!