I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,720

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 6th April 2015, 1:24 PM BST

Will the SNP use one to go around capturing floaters?

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Very poo'r

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32189448

Daniel Craig has gone through knee surgery, after sustaining an injury during the making of his latest Bond movie 'Spectre'. He was asked how he felt after the operation. 'Aching not stirred.'

Judge REDUCES prison sentence of man who raped 3-year-old while covering her mouth because 'he didn't intend to harm her'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3030419/Judge-REDUCES-prison-sentence-man-raped-3-year-old-covering-mouth-didn-t-intend-harm-her.html

American cop shoots a man in the back eight times

In self defence

Rot in jail forever you murdering, racist shit stain

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-32194196

The owner of a 'revenge porn' website has been jailed for 18 years. His mugshot is proving to be a hit on the prison social network Facebooked, where he is constantly being fraped.

Quote: lofthouse @ 8th April 2015, 10:36 PM BST

Rot in jail forever you murdering, racist shit stain

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It was definitely murder, and he has been charged thusly, but you're just pulling the racist bit out of your ass.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/07/us/dr-fredric-brandt-65-celebrity-baron-of-botox-is-dead.html?_r=0

Dr Frederick Brandt, the Baron of Botox has died. One thing for sure, he won't need to be embalmed.

So you're more worried about a crook being shot in the back than a US Judge condoning buggery of a toddler?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-32218959

Police have found a cannabis farm at a children's play centre in Edinburgh. Parents were baffled why their kids were always covered in grass stains. It puts a new meaning to the nursery rhyme sticks and stoned.

Barry Manilow is gay? Never! Who'd have thought?

I like that their names rhyme. Garry and Barry. Aw.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-29703851

A nun from Italy has released a ballad version of 'Like A Virgin' by Madonna. Rumour has it, The Archbishop Of Canterbury is to rerelease 'Relax' by Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

This is old news, Andy.

In my experience, on the first day of a new job they usually show you where the kettle is, the fire exits, introduce you to everyone etc etc

Apparently the Royal household do things slightly differently. They tend to wank in your face with their pants round their ankles and invite your to be gangbanged

Nice to know our taxes pay the wages of these f**king degenerate inbred perverts

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/queen-mothers-footman-was-groped-5503520

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3024016/Hardware-store-worker-pleads-guilty-ejaculating-female-colleague-s-coffee-bid-noticed.html

A man has been charged with indecent exposure for masturbating into a female employees' coffee. He thought she took it with a splash of cream.