Fave joke

Hey, I thought I'd start a thread about all you crazy cats' favourite jokes! Nothing to do with the fact that I'm working on a joke-driven brief for a greetings card company of course. No, nothing at all to do with that. No. Perish that thought. Perish it. I'm just interested in you as people.

Oh and before submitting, could you sign the following:

"I being of reaasonably sound body and mind do release this joke for the exclusive use of Perry Nium. If I see this joke on a card in WHSmiths next year, I swear not to throw a hissy fit and threaten legal action. I fully authorize Mr Nium to use this joke and pass it off as his own, the baldy plagiaristic son of a syphilitic whore."

SIGNED:

WRITE FAVE JOKE HERE: (Please, no racist jokes. WHSmith won't have it.)

What do you call a piece of crap?

WHSmith.

I got you this greeting card because.

*Opens up*

I wanted to act like a gave a f**k.

I guess they wouldn't be too appreciative of "Maddie" jokes?

Come on people, I'm not feeling that you're taking my wages seriously here. Dig deep. Help a poor copywriter.

This was the cheapest card I could find but hey, you're worth it

Glad you're leaving, we hate you, you c**t.

Inside

We've all wiped this card up our arse cracks, and if you dare wash your hands before you leave, we'll beat you silly.

Now f**k after you stinky handed, arse hole.

Maybe for Gordon Browns resignation?

Quote: bushbaby @ February 27, 2008, 11:49 PM

This was the cheapest card I could find but hey, you're worth it

View original

Thanks Bush but been done unfortch.

Quote: sootyj @ February 27, 2008, 11:49 PM

Glad you're leaving, we hate you, you c**t.

Inside

We've all wiped this card up our arse cracks, and if you dare wash your hands before you leave, we'll beat you silly.

Now f**k after you stinky handed, arse hole.

View original

Bit tame, Sooty.

Sap, and came right off the top of my head, Perry

I know its really hard
When you get to a certian age... (open card)
Especially when you're writing card jokes
For below the minimum wage

Wishing you many happy returns.

Love, the boys at the Inland Revenue.

Quote: ian_w @ February 28, 2008, 12:08 AM

Wishing you many happy returns.

Love, the boys at the Inland Revenue.

View original

Erm...that's quite spooky. I'm having a bit of bother with the taxman at the mo.

PICTURE ON THE FRONT OF A ROCK/PEBBLE.

Comment inside: "Never Give Up..."

Doesn't mean anything at all, which is the brilliance of it

Quote: ajp29 @ February 28, 2008, 12:00 AM

I know its really hard
When you get to a certian age... (open card)
Especially when you're writing card jokes
For below the minimum wage

View original

What a ridiculous idea. Minimum wage - pah! I'm freelance so it doesn't apply.

Quote: Charisma @ February 28, 2008, 12:13 AM

PICTURE ON THE FRONT OF A ROCK/PEBBLE.

Comment inside: "Never Give Up..."

Doesn't mean anything at all, which is the brilliance of it

View original

I like that.