British Comedy Guide

Parental Guidance - Sketch Script

Parental Guidance

Cinema, grown man (40 yrs old) looking to buy a movie ticket

(Customer approaches counter, behind it standing a worker)

Customer: "Ticket to Lego Movie please" (Customer says routinely like he has said it 100 times before)

Worker: "No problem sir. (Enters various details into till) Thats £7.50. May I see your consent form?"

Customer: "Consent form?"

Worker: "Yeah, just one that was signed by a parent"

Customer: "Why do I need a consent form? Im a grown man!" (Customer clearly already agitated)

Worker: "This movie is rated PG for parental guidance, im afraid some form of consent from a parent is required"

Customer: "Im 40 years old and both my parents are dead!"

Worker: "Im sorry to hear that but I guess that means your out of luck"

Customer: "You have to be kidd-"

Young boy: (Confidently approaches till to the right of the man) "A ticket to lego movie please" (says with a smile)

Worker 2: "Yes sir, and you have your consent form?" (Smiling back)

Young boy: "I sure do!" (Hands note over to worker 2)

Worker 2: "Thank you very much sir!" (Quickly checks note before handing back to young boy) "Everything seems to be in order. That will be £7.50"

Young Boy: "No problem, my friend!" (Hands over correct amount of change as worker 2 prints off ticket, young boy happily walks towards the screening)

Customer: (Camera turns back to original Customer, showing his eyes full of anger as his eyes fix on what has just occurred. Quickly turns back to worker with a devilish grin) "How about I just drop this note on the counter and we forget about the consent form?" (Discreetly places £5 on counter)

Worker: "For lego movie?" (Worker asks holding back a smile, clearly enjoying watching the customer's fury)

Customer: "Of course for the lego f**king movie!"

Worker: "Firstly, we do not encourage language like that in our cinemas. And secondly, the last ticket was just sold to that kid over there" (points to young boy as he happily walks through doors to screening)

The trouble here is that this isn't how PG films work, is it, you don't show a note from your mum? How about twisting it a bit?

"This is a film where children need to be accompanied by an adult"
"I'm 40 years old"
"Yes, and where's your child? Can't let you in without one"

(This actually happened to me once, went to see a film, to be told it was "Kids' Club", and when I said I don't mind, they said I wasn't allowed in with a kid. I tried to explain that I'd get more out of Jacques Tati than some little f**ker, but they wouldn't listen)

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