int. pitching room- day.
a medium shot of four surly looking business men in a dragon's den scenario, with a banner reading "evil genius convention" behind them. cue a close up hand held shot of businessman #1
BUSINESS MAN #1 (MONOTONE, LASHINGS OF ARROGANCE)
The point is basically, how much money can we get from the idea pitched. Morality is of no concern. Money over metaphysics, eh?
Enter EVIL GENIUS, a small, nervous character, who stands on a spot marked 'x'.
BUSINESS MAN #1
Name?
BARRY
Barry.
BUSINESS MAN #1 (AMIDST THE SURPRISED GRUNTS OF THE OTHERS)
Barry? Well, Barry. What have you got for us?
BARRY
Well, I've got a few ideas actually. Um, the first was about chickens. Yeah, I was just finking that if we, like, piled as many chickens together as possible, like, with no room to move, then it would be like, you know, you'd get more money because you aren't really caring about their well being as animals. You know?
Awkward pause.
BUSINESSMAN #2 (LOOKING AT THE OTHERS, QUIETLY)
I think, that.. we already have that don't we?
BUSINESSMEN TOGETHER
Yeah, yeah.
BUSINESSMAN #3
Battery farming, isn't it?
BUSINESSMEN TOGETHER
That's the one.
BUSINESS MAN #1
Yeah, society has already set up that as a thing and kind of passively receives it with no qualms so...
BUSINESSMAN #4
Yeah, no shock factor. You're missing the shock factor.
BARRY (QUIETLY)
Yeah, yeah, I'll take that on board.
BUSINESS MAN #1
You said you had other ideas?
BARRY
God, yeah. Erm, well. What was it? Shit, yeah. We take a huge drill somewhere and harvest a load of energy straight from the ground.
BUSINESS MAN #3
And the environmental impact of that would be?
BARRY
Probably catastrophic.
BUSINESS MAN #3
Would have to avoid the south then.
BUSINESS MAN #1
I hear the north east is pretty desolate.
BUSINESSMAN #2
That is true, we could do it there.
BUSINESSMAN #4 (LOOKING UP FROM HIS PHONE)
Guys, guys. Hold on, we already do that. It's called fracking. So..
BUSINESS MAN #1
Not looking good Barry.
BARRY
I have one more!
BUSINESS MAN #1
Go.
BARRY
Right, so. What we do is set up a sort private island bank account thing so you don't have to pay your taxes-
BUSINESS MAN #1
Barry, are you f**king kidding me? Could it be more obvious that we do that already? You lack originality and drive? Cue the death ray!
BARRY is swiftly exterminated.
BUSINESSMAN #2
We have a death ray?
BUSINESS MAN #1
Last years winner.