British Comedy Guide

New scene/Character plot

Trying to flesh out one of my main characters by giving her a workplace and some conflcts. Slightly worried that her boss is stealing it a bit and I can't work out if I like the induction folder bit or not.
Comments appreciated

INT.OFFICE - DAY

AMY enters GREG's office, she is dressed in a neat suit and carrying a new briefcase. GREG is sitting behind his messy desk wearing a slightly crumpled suit and stands up to shake her hand over the desk.

GREG

Amy, Right? Take a seat.

AMY

Nice to meet you, Mr Askew

AMY sits opposite GREG and places her briefcase on the ground beside her. Greg sits back in his chair and stares at her for a little too long.

GREG

So... You're the one? (beat)
Look, this is all just a formality
really. I mean, you've already got
the job, right? Not like I need to
choose my own team leaders. I only
run the place.

GREG starts laughing. AMY laughs nervously along with him then he stops laughing abruptly and gives her a stern look. She stops laughing and looks worried then GREG smiles.

GREG

Right, boring stuff. I'm the boots
and haircuts man. All the creative
crap I leave to people like you and
the other nerds out there.

AMY

Guilty as charged!

GREG

Riiiiight.... Got your personnel
file here, all good. Good attendance,
timekeeping, no bogus sexual harassment
claims...Not like the last frigid Bitch.

GREG pauses then laughs again, Amy laughs nervously while watching him carefully.
GREG

But seriously, she had to go.

AMY

Mr Askew, can I just say how
excited I am to be here and
how much I'm looking forward
to making a difference.

GREG

Making a difference, eh? Did
someone at head office say
we need to make changes here?

AMY

Erm...

GREG

Because they should have!
Place is a mess! If it wasn't
for the CCTV I'd be cracking
heads or getting drunk.

GREG bursts out laughing again. AMY just stares at him. GREG stops laughing and leans down and retrieves a large folder.

GREG

Now, company policy says I'm
supposed to go through this
induction with you. But you
seem like a bright girl, we're
both busy and...

GREG leans in and lowers his voice conspiratorially.

GREG

...I've got a "meeting" later
with some golf buddies.
If you know what I mean?

AMY
Oh, right. I'm sure one
induction's much the same
as another.

GREG

Great! So you should be
able to get through it
yourself on your dinner
break.

AMY

Right...

GREG pushes the induction folder across the table to AMY and winks at her.

GREG

Our little secret.

GREG stands up and moves towards the door. AMY picks up her briefcase and the induction folder and stands up.

GREG
Well, that's the awkward bit
over with. Let's go meet your
team!

INT.STUDIO - DAY

A busy design studio. Dolphin Team are working in a cramped, partitioned area of the studio. Bored and frustrated designers sit around working. AMY and GREG enter the partitioned area.

GREG

Listen in, Dweebs. This
is Amy Collins. Your new
team leader. Amy, this is
the Dolphin Team.

AMY smiles brightly and gives a small, cheerful wave with her free hand. The Dolphin team give her apathetic stares in return.

GREG
Now I know she might look
like a twenty five year old,
smutty librarian but, let me
assure you, Amy here...

AMY's smile begins to drop slowly as GREG puts his hand on her back.

...is every, single inch the
ball breaking Hell-Queen I
told you about. From now on
anyone not pulling their weight
will find out just how much of
a ruthless bitch she can be.

The Dolphin Teams looks turn from apathetic to fearful. AMY clears her throat.

AMY

Erm, look I'm just really
looking forward to getting
to know you all and working
together on some great new
ideas.

GREG leans in towards AMY.

GREG
(quiet)
The old "Jekyll and Hyde" routine,
eh? Like it! Keep them on their
toes. (louder) You heard her, new
ideas.

GREG looks at different team members in turn.

GREG

Cutting out the dead wood...
trimming the fat. Change, move
on or move out!

AMY

Perhaps we should get started?

GREG

Of course! I'll check in
later. Don't cull anyone
until I get back.

GREG laughs as he walks away, stops and clicks his fingers then turns around.

GREG

Almost forgot, I've got no
problem with you all working
late but there's no overtime,
sorry.

GREG shrugs then walks away whistling a tune. AMY stares helplessly at the Dolphin Team who are giving back mixed stares of hostility and fear. AMY makes a mock cracking the whip motion with her free hand while smiling.

AMY

Back to work! (giggle)

The Dolphin Team hurriedly turn back to their work and AMY looks horrified.

You are going to hate me for this Greg, but it read to me like the opening of the IT crowd. Which was a while ago admittedly so I can't recall it exactly. Mainly in the case of the boss. Would it help to make the boss a woman? It does;t matter if Amy is passive here really in the scene... often the big laughs in sitcom come from the reaction. For me the reality of what was going on was a little confused, seemed contrived, which I know it has to be but could you get more story in there to cover the length of it as it were?

Ask yourself what the dynamic is in the scene rather than just showing us the set up. Put something at stake in both scenes. Make something change by the end of each scene,

now..

Back to work!

;)

I thought it was very good

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