Finished the episode off. Probably needs a few more re-writes but comments appreciated.
INT.RESTRAUNT - NIGHT
KEVIN and KENDRA are sitting at the table.
KEVIN
I feel like we've got off on the
wrong foot.
KENDRA
(sniff)
No, this is pretty much how
I imagined it'd be.
KEVIN
Do you often make judgements about
people you've never met before?
KENDRA
I didn't come here to meet you, I came
to assess you.
KEVIN
Assess me?
KENDRA
For your suitability, (sniff) as Amy's partner.
KEVIN
So all this is some kind of, test?
KENDRA
No, (sniff) I knew you'd fail.
KEVIN
Fail?!
KENDRA
You're a weak fool who allows his deviant Brother
to encroach on your relationship. Amy could do so much
better.
KEVIN
You are so wrong! Me and Amy are doing fine.
And while Luke might get a bit carried away
sometimes I make sure he knows where the line
is drawn.
LUKE enters and sits in AMY's empty chair.
LUKE
No ideas of your own, have you? Why
didn't you say you'd planned your own
threesome?
KEVIN puts his head in his hands.
KEVIN
Oh God!
KENDRA stares intently at LUKE. LUKE addresses KEVIN while pointing at KENDRA with his thumb
LUKE
What's her problem?
KENDRA leans in towards LUKE and jabs her finger at him.
KENDRA
I'll tell you what my problem is...
LUKE turns away and wafts his hand.
LUKE
I don't think I need to know anything past
halitosis, thank you.
The WAITER enters carrying a tray loaded with food plates.
WAITER
Your food, Sir?
LUKE
What are we having then?
The WAITER puts each plate in the relevant place. He manages to awkwardly place the mixed grill in front of KENDRA.
LUKE
Here, Mate. Take this back and get me one of them.
LUKE hands AMY's plate to the WAITER and points at KENDRA's mixed grill.
KEVIN
No, that's Amy's dinner!
LUKE looks at the table and then puts the plate down next to KEVIN
LUKE
This is going to be a bit cosy, isn't it?
WAITER
So, another mixed grill?
KEVIN
Luke, do you know how much the
food costs in here?
LUKE
You'll spot me, right?
KEVIN stares at LUKE who shrugs then moves AMY's plate back in front of him and begins scraping the sauce from the chicken onto KENDRA's plate.
KENDRA
Excuse me!
LUKE
Good point. Could you get an after dinner mint
or something for her?
WAITER
It would be my pleasure, Sir.
The WAITER exits.
LUKE
Look, I'll cut to the chase. There's a certain
young lady, not too far from here in a cold
dark house. Now I have the power to make her
situation more comfortable but I need one of you
to come with me and do exactly as I say.
KENDRA
What kind of monster are you?
LUKE
Now you seem a bit spiky but you have a
vagina, you're clearly single and you haven't
turned me down yet which puts you in pole
position, so to speak. (BEAT) You do have a
vagina, right?
AMY enters.
AMY
What the hell is going on?
KENDRA
Amy, we need to go right now and call the police.
KEVIN
Whoa, whoa! Nobody needs to call the police.
KENDRA
These two were trying to drag me back to their
sex den where they've trapped some poor girl.
AMY relaxes visibly and looks at LUKE
AMY
Mandy, right? Well poor is the right word.
LUKE
And I didn't trap her there, the welfare system did.
KENDRA
And you are taking advantage of her situation?
LUKE
You've got me there.
KENDRA
And you encourage this?
KEVIN
This has nothing to do with me!
KENDRA
Lies, you're in cahoots. You just see us women
as objects to be used and discarded at will.
LUKE
Fair cop.
KEVIN
Enough! I've had enough of the pair of you!
Especially you, you obnoxious Man-hating harpy.
Get out, both of you!
LUKE
What did I do?
KENDRA
Amy, you can stay and take your chances
with this vile Man or you can come with me
and rescue a fellow sister in need.
AMY moves to KEVIN's side and puts her hand on his shoulder.
AMY
I'm sorry, Kendra, but you're wrong about Kevin. I'm
standing by my Man.
KENDRA
(sniff)
So be it. You, take me to this Woman's house, right now.
LUKE
After you.
KENDRA heads for the door, LUKE goes to high five KEVIN who just shakes his head at him. LUKE follows KENDRA out of the restaurant.
KEVIN
Right, where were we.
KEVIN and AMY sit back in their original seats. They move plates around in silence and KEVIN starts eating the mixed grill.
AMY
Kevin?
KEVIN
Yes, Sweetheart?
AMY
If you ever speak to me that way, I'll cut your
bollocks off. Clear?
KEVIN
Crystal.
EXT.HOUSE -NIGHT
LUKE and KENDRA are walking down the path to MANDY's dark house.
LUKE
So, this is us.
KENDRA starts banging loudly on the door.
KENDRA
Mandy! Mandy are you okay?
The door opens and MANDY stands there in a fleece onesie.
MANDY
Who are you?
LUKE
Slight change of plan.
KENDRA
Mandy, I'm Kendra. I'm here to help, I head up
several groups that support women like you
MANDY
(hostile)
Women like me?
KENDRA
Yes, emotionally, communally....
MANDY
Now you listen to me......
KENDRA
....financially.
MANDY
(softening)
I'm listening.
KENDRA
You don't have to let this bastard manipulate
you anymore.
MANDY
I don't?
LUKE
Look, I don't mean to be rude but unless you two
are going to start mud wrestling can we move this
inside?
MANDY
Where's the meter key?
KENDRA retrieves the meter key from her handbag and passes it to MANDY.
MANDY
Come on in.
KENDRA steps over the threshold. LUKE goes to follow but is blocked by KENDRA.
KENDRA
I think you've done enough damage.
LUKE
Hey, a deal's a deal, Germaine. Let me
in.
KENDRA pulls a can of pepper spray from her pocket and points it at LUKE's face.
KENDRA
Back off, I mean it. This woman is under my
protection now.
LUKE
Oh, I get it. Claiming her for yourself eh. (BEAT)
Well at least let me watch.
KENDRA
Watch this!
KENDRA sprays the pepper spray in LUKE's face. He staggers away and the door slams shut.
LUKE
Argh!
INT.FLAT - NIGHT
KEVIN and AMY enter kissing and giggling. They are merrily drunk.
KEVIN
Let's go to bed.
AMY
(giggle)
Yes Sir!
KEVIN
Sir? Kendra wouldn't approve.
INT.BEDROOM - NIGHT
AMY and KEVIN crash into the darkened bedroom embracing each other, they collapse onto the bed kissing and groping and then roll into LUKE who is lying surreptitiously on the edge of the bed.
AMY
What the......
KEVIN jumps out of bed and turns on the light.
KEVIN
Luke! What the hell are you doing?!
LUKE
Oh, is this your bed? Sorry, Amy's psycho friend
tried to blind me and I must have stumbled into
the wrong room. Just carry on. Don't mind me.
KEVIN
Luke, just get out.
LUKE reluctantly heaves himself off the bed and shuffles slowly towards the door. He stops at the threshold and turns to look at KEVIN and AMY with his swollen, red eyes.
LUKE
Still counts.
LUKE exits the room and shuts the door
END