British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 92

I keep seeing these things saying "Jesus, Charlie!". What did he do this time?

Quote: gappy @ 9th January 2015, 8:46 PM GMT

I keep seeing these things saying "Jesus, Charlie!". What did he do this time?

:)

Yes - I was thinking something similar!

Trying to rub it in to the Muslims!

A man I know breeds black and white pigeons but he only puts the white ones in time trial competitions.
Races em.

I bought my mum a clock for Christmas....there's no present like the time

I bought my girlfriend a new watch but didn't keep the receipt,
Yesterday she said she was leaving me,
Wellthat's Time I can't take back.

My granddad told me find a job you love and stick to it!
Although he did work at the local glue factory,

I'm looking for someone who can explain to me how to make my PC run faster without frying the motherboard.
I want un-bios opinions!

When Duracell was looking for a toy animal to represent the life of its batteries, I was really surprised they went for a Rabbit instead of a Chicken!

I went to Salsa lessons last night,
My first time,
The instructor had no time for new comers
I felt I was playing Ketchup all night!

I can see the first 2 although they need a bit of work on them. Also the 4th and 5th.

However I don't know if it's me but I've got no idea what the third one means.

I think it's meant to be want not won't

Quote: sootyj @ 12th January 2015, 10:35 PM GMT

I think it's meant to be want not won't

I thought that was supposed to be the punchline to the motherboard joke.

That was the third joke wasn't it.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 12th January 2015, 4:50 PM GMT

I'm looking for someone who can explain to me how to make my PC run faster without frying the motherboard.

I won't unbios opinions!

Is this one joke?

Quote: Chappers @ 12th January 2015, 11:08 PM GMT

Is this one joke?

Yes.

I want unbiased/unbios opinions.

If I wanted to grow my processor speeds, should I sprinkle my mother board with baby unbios

Quote: Chappers @ 12th January 2015, 10:32 PM GMT

I can see the first 2 although they need a bit of work on them. Also the 4th and 5th.

However I don't know if it's me but I've got no idea what the third one means.

Sorry, my very bad typing, I've adjusted it so it might make more sence now

Sense

Quote: bushbaby @ 13th January 2015, 11:16 PM GMT

Sense

I know, I left that spelling mistake in on purpose as an indicator that no matter how good or bad the jokes might be, my spelling will always be horrendous!

How weather, Eye nail have aye knew spell Czech sew it can cheque my sentences and put all the write words in if hive knot spelt them wright or they donut make cents! sow you're like lee two sea that my pore spelling and aweful granmar wheel bee a thing of the past.

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