Merry Clitoris Happy New Rear

Watching TV as Big Ben chimed farewell to 2014, the morbidly obese ugly young woman, depressed and unfulfilled after her vibrator batteries ran out of power, resorted to smearing catmint on her clitoris and letting 'Tiddles' lick it off.
Overjoyed with the result and watching the cat clean itself, began enticing it to clean her. Not the main bulk of the daily dump of course, that would be absurd, but the hard to get to bits hanging from hairs or smeared in wrinkles.
Libido satisfied, Itchy arse cured and smelling of mint sauce, she is looking forward to 2015.

MarcP
You haven't critiqued my latest post.
Is it because it is perfect in every way, or you got drunk. beat the wife and spent the holidays in a police cell.

I don't drink alcohol Jerf.
I am not sure I have ever critiqued your skits though... just occasionally try to help you get your meaning across in a cogent manner with regards to your sentence constructions. At least I hope I am helpful.

MarcP
I realise that I'm not funny. My reason for posting on BCG is to improve my grammar, punctuation and general cadence.
Though sometimes replying flippantly to your comments, do appreciate them.
Please don't get fed-up.

Too late for that mate I made home made bread and butter pudding last night with a big pain au raisin centrepiece!

Meanwhile the general interrupts the flow somewhat so would advice...

'...grammar, punctuation and cadence generally.'...

for cadence.

Hope, as ever, that this may be helpful!

MarcP
The intended meaning of the words that leave my fingertips,
May not be the same as those that meet your eyes.

Cadence is cadence regardless of meaning old boy. Look no further than popular music to see what I mean. Or classical

The intended meaning of the words that leave my fingertips
May not be the same as those that reach your eyes.
Cole Porter.

Work harder on your intentions then Jerf, Tis the time for such resolutions! Freelancers don't have the luxury, as you may well surmise if not intending to go pro yourself, of missing the mark frequently. In the cut and thrust of the real world of selling your crafted words - meaning is everything!

Good luck with the next project meanwhile as the window for this one, with the fast approach of Candlemas, is jolly nighly closed.

Dear MarcP
English is the only language I know of that can be read 'between the lines'
Sadly I read the word 'goodbye' accompanied by a yawn.
I feel like a blind man who's been led to the central reservation of a motorway....and abandoned. Maybe another kindly soul can help my quest to learn the 'Language of Shakespeare'
Thank-you for all your patient advice.

May your mother never regret the pain of your birth.

Shakespeare is of course written in modern English. But yes it is always best to triangulate opinion, Jerf. Body language and subtext are very similar things. Both strive to let the other know what is intended.

What inspired this? It's completely vile. If that's what you were going for, good. But it shouldn't be all you are going for.

Dear Pugsmith.
Sorry to upset you but I'm a fan of Frankie Boyle, whom you probably know as quite rude.
You seem to prefer the lighter touch, Sarah Millican, perhaps.
Your comments are not strictly 'critique' more of an expression of offence of content.
Have you heard the saying 'Give me the boy till he's seven and I'll give you the man.
When I was a boy, homosexuality was a disgusting criminal offence.
Thankfully, these days it is widely accepted (by me too) as a lifestyle choice.
But I still can't help hoping I die before it becomes compulsory.

No, I do believe this was a valid critique Jerf. He asked for your creative motivation in the crafting of this piece. That was better to understand what you sought to achieve to better analyse his own critical reaction as an audience if you will to your material - which he then signified, he found it vile. He then further addresses the issue of your motivation and qualifies his reaction in terms of that. He then offers advice in that a simplistic reaction isn't the ideal response for comedic material of this nature.

I guess he is inviting you as author into a meaningful dialogue to answer these questions and perhaps move from the specific of this particular skit into a discussion in broad terms about this kind of comedy.

I think this kind of debate/discourse is exactly what critique is for.

My creative motivation is to be funny.
Failing to amuse some, does not mean failing to amuse others.
If on this site,if I read a post that doesn't amuse me. I simply move on.
My problem as a beginner is that few 'experts' on this site post anything other than clever rhetoric.