Again, repeats on TV. Again, repeats on TV. Again, repeats on TV.
Tell us a joke Page 91
Quote: gappy @ 26th December 2014, 12:20 PM GMTThey've renovated a building near me to house a project to rehabilitate whores and prisoners.
There are pros and cons.
The version of that joke I use on standup is;
I've got a big decision to make so my mate said make a list of pros and cons,
Christine Keeler, Divine Brown, The Kray Twins, Norman Stanley Fletcher.
Well that didn't help.
I had to stop using it because I could never remember enough prostitutes or prisonsers on deand.
Quote: sootyj @ 26th December 2014, 4:36 PM GMTThe version of that joke I use on standup is;
I've got a big decision to make so my mate said make a list of pros and cons,
Christine Keeler, Divine Brown, The Kray Twins, Norman Stanley Fletcher.
Well that didn't help.
I had to stop using it because I could never remember enough prostitutes or prisonsers on deand.
That's probably better, Sooty. This was one of those jokes that it just seemed impossible that someone else wouldn't have come up with already, the moment I thought of it...ie all of them. 
Fiat..... Fix It Again Tomorrow
Told my wife I'd caught herpes at the racetrack. She was incredulous but it's the truth, it was straight from the horse's mouth.
Are you sure it was the horses mouth?
For the purposes of the joke, yes.
It was good of Barack Obama to donate some of his Nobel Peace Prize money to the CIA to develop more humane ways to torture people
Quote: bushbaby @ 26th December 2014, 8:12 PM GMTFiat..... Fix It Again Tomorrow
LOTUS. lots of trouble usually serious.
(Stolen from Top Gear Christmas Special)
"Have you made any new year's resolutions?"
"Yes. Not to die this year"
"Cool. How's it going?"
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 29th December 2014, 2:13 PM GMTLOTUS. lots of trouble usually serious.
(Stolen from Top Gear Christmas Special)
That one is as old as the Lotus; Top Gear stole it.
I think we classic owners prefer something like:
Lots of Thrills; Utterly Spectacular.
On the 30th of June the world will gain an extra second; that's a first.
French Police say the terrorist who attacked a media office and shot 3 cartoonist already had their weapons Drawn
Unfortunately, that one was done by a cartoonist shortly after the incident.
You hear a lot of babies crying in churches, don't you?
Then again you would too if you were being indoctrinated into a cult against your own will.