Enjoy. Comments of any kind are welcome, even harsh trash talking types as well.
http://www.halfwaygangster.com/2014/11/07/sketch-comedy-script-rico-suave/
Enjoy. Comments of any kind are welcome, even harsh trash talking types as well.
http://www.halfwaygangster.com/2014/11/07/sketch-comedy-script-rico-suave/
The dialogue flows well, and there are some funny lines, but I didn't quite get the point of it as a sketch. Rico thinks he's incredibly good-looking. Toni agrees. So? I kept looking for a twist, but couldn't find it. Might just be me being thick of course.
That's perfect Rupe exactly what I wanted to hear. I based Rico's character on one line : "I look good in the mirror" and subsequently developed all his other lines from this one premise and I'm glad it flowed well. In this sketch the goal was to create a character from a simple funny premise that was easy to sustain and have lots of funny character specific lines, not random ones.
And for his partner, I decided to ditch the straight man who would attack his absurdity and went for comedic agreement.
As for the twist I usually don't go for twists in my sketches. It's more character driven and I'll only put it in if it suits the character.
There's this book called UCB comedy manual and I'm honing all my thoughts and learning from this one book. I recommend you check it out, in fact I would say it is a MUST for sketch writing. They talk about now I mention Monty Python because the Brits love them, but they break down the patterns and sketches and show things like comedic esclation and exploration .
This is the thing I feel with twists. Sometimes they feel forced. I didn't like writing towards a pre conceived twist as I think this wouldn't play out what's happening in the moment.
So yeah I donno I had this in the back of my mind when I was writing.
Yes I think I know now I kinda break away from the typical monty python sketches I really don't find them funny.
Ultimately what I'm aiming for with sketches is a snippet of the human psyche, it's as if the characters have existed all along and we just come and have a little sneek into their lives and then we go away. Eavesdropping in a way, and even when we do, they don't have to do anything spectacular in terms of plot, just do and say things based on their characters. And their characters based on the very first three or 4 lines created. Then everything else is a consequence of this.
Hope you know what I mean.
And the book;s called UCB improv Manual it's an amazing book a must read for sketch writing and improvising.
The dialogues kinda trite, a sort of cliched amalgam of gangster talk from Scorsese pictures.
It doesn't go anywhere it just zig zags. I mean if you could persuade 2 amazing actors to perform it, it might just make it to mildly amusing.
But there's no story just a lot of filler.
Not sure I get this, really. I mean, Rico's dialogue is so odd that there's no kick in the other guy's come-ons. I think it might be fun if Rico were a bit self-obsessed, but still steadfastly macho and straight, or if his admirer's loving asides were never quite registered up by him (a la Smithers & Mr Burns).
Or, if you want both the characters to come form the same place, as it were - and I agree it gets mechnical writing in doubters and straight-men to get your sketches working - perhaps it should just escalate to absolutel absurdity in a nice quick arc.
Just thoughts, of course, ignore me at your leisure.
Quote: gappy @ 10th November 2014, 5:23 PM GMTJust thoughts, of course, ignore me at your leisure.
Does that chat up line ever work?
Thanks for the replies.
@Scooty
I'm not sure how it's cliched if you're comparing it to Scorsese. He's gangsters are very serious and hard edge, if mine were gangsters they'd be bordering silly and exaggerated egoism to the point of absurdity.
And in sketches I never follow plot. I focus on the funny premise and play it out logically.
For instance in the dead parrot sketch, the funny premise was "Man keeps denying obvious facts". So if this was the case, the development of the sketch would focus on other obvious things that he would deny, and slowly escalating to more and more obvious things.
So my thought process behind this sketch was similar. I started out with "Rico loves himself"
So if this were true how could I explore this premise and escalate to fit his character? So I thought:
1. He really spends a long time looking in the mirror
2. He looks in the mirror without his shirt
3. He looks in the mirror without shirt, candles , love making music and he as referenced, masturbates to his own image. That's extreme self-loving.
But I can sense what you're trying to get at when you say it's a filler as in the scene isn't progressing somewhere in your impression and maybe you felt that way because finding out different examples that escalate a little slowly about How rico shows self love doesn't progress quickly enough. Maybe I was just stick with the mirror thing and should've thought better examples of vanity.
@gappy
I see what you mean Gappy, I think you wanted a more grounded scene that's more relatable I think because Rico was too far out for your tastes. In all honesty Rico was based on me and I really entertain myself with those thoughts sometimes to pump myself up or something before going out to work when I brush my teeth or something.
But you were right in the sense that I did go for the Burns and Smither dynamic. And at the end throw throw in a the twist that Burns was actually seducing Smithers all along and knew about his affections contrary to how he was portrayed otherwise. But replace Burns for Rico and Smithers for Toni etc....