British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 84

Quote: bushbaby @ 17th October 2014, 5:07 PM BST

Ooh Chappers! One wouldn't analyse a joke at the moment its said :D :D

That was because somebody else said the joke was wrong.

Quote: Nick81 @ 2nd October 2014, 3:23 PM BST

Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples.

"Twelve glasses of water" Jesus says to the barman, winking to the others.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 2nd October 2014, 4:56 PM BST

Thirteen glasses, surely?

Just correcting some pedantic twat.

Quote: Chappers @ 17th October 2014, 6:58 PM BST

That was because somebody else said the joke was wrong.

Just correcting some pedantic twat.

Roodeye is my dearest friend. Leave him alone Angry

Well you asked why I was analysing the joke but it wasn't me.

ANAL-ysing being quite appropriate.

They've taken the book of Ruth outa the Bible. It's pretty ruthless.

Quote: Chappers @ 17th October 2014, 7:20 PM BST

Well you asked why I was analysing the joke but it wasn't me.

ANAL-ysing being quite appropriate.

:D :D :D

Man :
Doctor, doctor my TV has blown up and I can't watch my favourite holiday camp sitcom. It's made me thirsty and confused. I think I'm dying

Doctor:
Don't worry sir, you're just Hi-De-Hydrated.

Quote: Will Cam @ 18th October 2014, 6:16 PM BST

Man :
Doctor, doctor my TV has blown up and I can't watch my favourite holiday camp sitcom. It's made me thirsty and confused. I think I'm dying

Doctor:
Don't worry sir, you're just Hi-De-Hydrated.

Made me laugh. And on a title pun theme, here's my new Sci Fi blockbuster pitch: Scientist brings corpses back to life and attempts to get them to breed with pop pin-up in order to create a sexy zombie army to do his bidding. It's called "Rihanna-mater".

Why doesn't John Lennon ride his yellow submarine in strawberry fields singing, 'And so this is Christmas?' Because he's dead.

I heard that the boss of the Mafia's dog got clipped.

I heard that King Edward's dog got chipped!

I heard the head of the FBI's dog got Fed!

I heard the Queen's Dogs got CORGI Registered!

I heard the Alan Titchmarsh's dog got Spade!

I heard "Yo Mamma's" dog got put down!

I heard Rolf Harris's dog got groomed!

I heard Addida's dog got a new trainer

I heard the head of the metropolitan police's dog got collared

I heard the leader of the BNP's greyhound was only good for one race!

Some good ones there, Haha.

A man walks into a bar, and starts taking cats out of a bag and putting them everywhere. The barman comes running up to him and shouts 'who do ypu think you are?' to which the man calmly replies 'the internet'.

A man walks into a low bar..

Ouch.. He had to go to A&E

But there he got plastered.

Quote: billwill @ 20th October 2014, 5:47 PM BST

A man walks into a low bar..

Ouch.. He had to go to A&E

But there he got plastered.

:D :D I'd put........ where he got plastered

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