CHERELLE: So, Steve, as promised here's the video of your date last night, and I'd like to walk you through it, to see whether we can find any areas that might require improvement, OK?
STEVE: Thanks, Cherelle. I tried to remember all your romancing advice.
CHERELLE: Okey-dokey. So, you start well, Steve, greeting her with a kiss. Next time, I think it would be better to aim for the cheek. Or somewhere on the face, anyway. Next, you've given her flowers, nice touch - but perhaps try roses next time.
STEVE: Not sunflowers?
CHERELLE: Quick rule of thumb, Stevie: your bouquet should never be taller than your date. And the chocolate isn't quite right. Try Milk Tray, instead ofWagon Wheels. And, you know, a few is enough - you do cause some kerfuffle manouevrng the forklift.
STEVE: I figured, because Wagon Wheels are getting smaller, a few extra wouldn't hurt. Oh, look, here's the bit where I compliment her appearance, like you said.
CHERELLE: Yes, well done...although I'm not sure what "your lashes have 40% more body" actually means. Now, what are you doing here, Stevie, love?
STEVE: Asking questions about herself - that was right, wasn't it?
CHERELLE: Well, I didn't really have blood type in mind, dearie. And, quick note, it's never polite to jot down a lady's BMI in a special dossier...especially after you've just given her a few palettes of Wagon Wheels, sends out mixed messages. Now, I confess, the next bit confuses me a little - are you telling her a fourteenth century Catalonian tale about an enchanted knight and his magical squire?
STEVE: Yeah. Because it's a romance.
CHERELLE: Oh, right; slightly crossed wires there, but no problem - she seems to be enjoying the lute, any road. And, I'd say the rest of the date went quite well - not convinced you should have centred the conversation round Wagon Wheels -
STEVE: I'm certain they're getting smaller!
CHERELLE: - but perhaps it doesn't matter overly, as a minute or two later the date does end rather suddenly.
STEVE: Yeah, what did I do wrong? Not romantic enough?
CHERELLE: No, but it's not customary to bring a packed lunch to a restaurant. They were bound to ask you to leave once you brought out the Tupperware.
STEVE: Oh! I thought restaurants were special date spaces, I didn't realise they sold food too.
CHERELLE: Yes, most of them do.....although the jury's out about the Bernie Inn, in that regard. So, we have to conclude, it wasn't precisely what we'd hoped for, was it? Still, I understand she's agreed to go out with you again this week, so we've got our work cut out, haven't we?
STEVE: Oh, yes, I'll work ever so hard. I really want the night to go perfectly this week.
CHERELLE: Why's that, Stevie love?
STEVE: Well, it's our ruby wedding anniversary on Friday.
CHERELLE: [Pause] And we could definitely work on your punchlines, too...
