gappy
Monday 22nd September 2014 2:56pm
Oxford
2,697 posts
Quote: sootyj @ 22nd September 2014, 11:48 AM BST
I think the second was 2 great ideas but it kinda doesn't work.
Thoughts on why.
1 It's 2 separate sketches cut and shut together which actually undermines each other. Crap focus group advisers good, DJ Jazy F not knowing how to party also good. Together poor.
2 The punchline is it's DJ Jazzy Jeff it runs over too long by about 2 minutes, so the punchline is kinda lost in the middle. I mean you can get away with it [for example Monty Pyythons lumberjack sketch]
3 You can't do the voices. DJ Jazzy Jeff being middle class could work, but its tricky.
4 It's much too long it needs to be way closer to 2 minutes than 4.
5 It's a nice punchline, but it only works if we believe Jazzy Jeff is good at partying.
Really interesting response, thanks so much, Soots.
1 & 2. You're probably right about it being 2 sketches. The thing is, although the actual joke is that Jazzy Jeff is a political advisor, you can't just quit the sketch as soon as that's mentioned, that would feel half-arsed. I mean, *something* else has to happen, surely. Did the wrong thing happen and for too long? Well, quite possibly
3. Very interesting. The 1st draft had Jeff played completely straight, but when we tried to perform it none of us could make that work. The joke is definitely not "aren't black guys funny", and our attempted accents were either nonsensical or, frankly, borderline racist. We were about to throw it away until Dan did the posh voice, and it just seemed a better avenue to choose. I woudl argue that in actual fact the public school Jeff is the sore-thumb 2nd sketch idea wleded on; I'd love to hear someone deliver the original sketch who could make it work.
4. Probably. Still not found a formula that works for sketch length. I mean, this one didn't feel too long, because there's a certain rhythm to the exchanges, and people seemed to keep on enjoying the Jeff lines regardless of length; other much shorter sketches seemed to drag live. The funny thing is, perhaps I'm unusual, but I tend to find that a lot of sketches I hear/see are too short nowadays!
5. I think the punchline is a bit crap, and fundamentally flawed as you say. Got us out of it neatly though, so probably a C+ ending, all things considered.