British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,657

http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2014/09/02/man-posed-as-brother-to-avoid-arrest-but-sibling-is-wanted-for-assault/

Laughing out loud

RIP Joan Rivers.

A quote from comments in the local rag. The debate concerns children being sent home for having the wrong sort of footwear when the required type had been advised three months age.

'An education is important, but wearing cool trainers is importanter'

Quote: Oldrocker @ 5th September 2014, 12:31 AM BST

A quote from comments in the local rag. The debate concerns children being sent home for having the wrong sort of footwear when the required type had been advised three months age.

'An education is important, but wearing cool trainers is importanter'

Learning English is the importantist.

'Dear IS,

We are about to send the SAS to rescue the British hostage David Haines.

If you could let us know by return where he will be it would be most appreciated.

Yours truly,

David Cameron.'

Twat!

David Hayes is a hostage, man he is one shit boxer

My two favourite clips from the news this week:

Nick Clegg left squirming over free school meals by "9-year-old boy" Rohan:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/11074677/Nick-Clegg-left-squirming-over-free-school-meals-by-9-year-old-boy.html

UKIP's Elizabeth Jones totally loses the plot on Voice of Africa Radio:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/ukip/11077637/Ukips-radio-rant-candidate-Elizabeth-Jones-worse-than-Katie-Hopkins.html

(The main part of the clip starts just after 13 minutes)

F**king Hazel Blears sticking her oar in where it's not wanted by suggesting that returning radicalised Muslims be made to live in East Anglia to get them out of "the smoke".

As somebody pointed out on the news we (in EA) are only one hour's journey from London and does she really think that will stop them going to see their colleagues...........

NO Hazel - why don't you have them in your neck of the woods in Salford then if you want to isolate them - stupid bitch. F**k off.

Quote: sootyj @ 6th September 2014, 1:01 AM BST

shit boxer

Is that a euphemism?

Pleased to see that the economic recovery is well under way Gideon !

'More than 1,000 people applied for just 30 jobs at a new store opening at Merry Hill. The combined Simply Be and Jacamo shop will open at the Brierley Hill centre later this month.'

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 6th September 2014, 1:20 PM BST

F**king Hazel Blears sticking her oar in where it's not wanted by suggesting that returning radicalised Muslims be made to live in East Anglia to get them out of "the smoke".

As somebody pointed out on the news we (in EA) are only one hour's journey from London and does she really think that will stop them going to see their colleagues...........

NO Hazel - why don't you have them in your neck of the woods in Salford then if you want to isolate them - stupid bitch. F**k off.

A truly terrible business.

Luckily, the Felixstowe pirate will deal with them.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-29052262 :)

Avast behind!

Looks like the Scottish referendum is goin to be very close

Still think it will be NO

But the better together team must be panicking now

I know yes and no are the answers, but I keep forgetting what the question is.

I'm just amazed its even an issue

The devoloution brigade have got all the crappy bits; weaker currency, loss of extra income from the UK, loss of EU membership

and none of the good bits, like loss of monarchy

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