Just joined the forum and would really appreciate any feedback on my blog. I wrote mostly short pieces and dialogues. Thanks so much!
hoodjams.wordpress.com
Comedy Blog - Hood Jams
Hi Nick and welcome to the forum. You have some funny writing skills!
"Trust Between Friends" is absolutely brilliant. Very funny.
"Taxi Driver" made me laugh too.
"Feeding The Lion" not bad.
"My Best Friends Sister" - funny but could be funnier I think. I'd re-write to make it snappier and less predictable finish.
"Rollercoaster inventor" - loved that. Short and funny.
Good stuff!
You're very talented. You should create little cartoon strip scripts. All the ones I read were very good.
I really enjoyed those. Quite different to 'funny' blogs I've read. I liked how snappy they were. Sort of thing you could just quickly read on the tube or over breakfast rather than having to dedicate serious time to it. I second the cartoon strip idea. I know an animator if interested - he did these for me https://m.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10152618553134838.1073741827.507019837&type=1&l=6b52ebe33e for the book I'm writing, I'd happily put you in touch if this is an avenue you'd like to explore.
I liked reading them, they were funny with lots of twists and turns very observant. feeding the lion was great.
Quote: Scartledge @ 7th August 2014, 8:39 PM BSTYou're very talented. You should create little cartoon strip scripts. All the ones I read were very good.
I second this, some of these would really take off as cartoon strips or animations. Some nice writing there, definitely - and compact, which is something most blogs fail entirely at.
What a fantastic blog I Shall be following this
These are brilliant. Could easily record some of the dialog pieces as radio sketches.
They are all good, but "Trust between Friends" is great. Really looking forward to seeing more of your stuff.
The De Niro one is very clever.
Quote: beaky @ 17th August 2014, 9:39 PM BSTThe De Niro one is very clever.
Yep. Although (it doesn't matter but I'll point it out anyway):
Throughout his life, Robert De Niro never understood what a mirror was.
DE NIRO: When I move my right hand...He moves his right hand...What the f**k is going on?
It would appear to be the reflection's LEFT hand that moved.
Quote: Rob0 @ 17th August 2014, 11:31 PM BSTYep. Although (it doesn't matter but I'll point it out anyway):
It would appear to be the reflection's LEFT hand that moved.
Cheers, Rob. I'll correct that.
Thanks for all the great feedback. It really means a lot.
Hey Nick I really like your stuff. I'll be keeping a tab on you buddy. Your trust between friends piece reminded me of this http://absurdist.obook.org/kharms/display.php?p=70
Feeding the Lion is great too
I feel an absurdist vibe in those two pieces.
Our formats are quite similar so if you have time you can check out my site too.