British Comedy Guide

Don't Buy Any Car Dot Com

DAVE and WILMA are lying in bed.

DAVE
I think we need to buy a new car love.

A man with a guitar enters.

GUITARMAN
We sell any car dot com...big cars, small cars, good cars, shit cars, fast cars, slow cars and mini bars...

GUITARMAN sits down on the edge of the bed.

WILMA
Yea, but we'll need to get a loan first.

GO COMPARE GUY walks in to their bedroom.

GO COMPARE GUY
Go compare! Go compare! Go compare!

Go compare guy sits down on the edge of the bed.

Snoop Dogg enters.

SNOOP DOGG
Don't listen to that fool, get your ass to moneysupermarket.com!

Snoop Dogg sits on the edge of the bed.

DAVE
Wait a minute...what about our mis-sold PPI?

WE HEAR AN ERUPTION OF PHONES RINGING AND TEXT MESSAGES

DAVE (ANSWERING HIS PHONE)
Hello - really? - £10,000! - wow, that's wonderful news - I can't thank you enough - speak to you later - bye!

WILMA
Who was that?

DAVE
My mum. She just bought us a ten grand car.

WOMAN
Awe, that's great news love. That will save us a fortune.

Snoop Dogg and the other men get up and trundle downstairs, we see them walking outside.

DAVE
Now love...we'll need to sort out some insurance.

END.

The punchline made me smile.

Quote: gappy @ 12th August 2014, 12:14 PM BST

The punchline made me smile.

Cheers Gappy...I'd have preferred a laugh but I'll take a smile!

I had half written this and was going to use it for the Cars skit comp but got derailed with my topical tripe!

Quote: Craig H @ 12th August 2014, 12:18 PM BST

Cheers Gappy...I'd have preferred a laugh but I'll take a smile!

I had half written this and was going to use it for the Cars skit comp but got derailed with my topical tripe!

Pity, I'd have voted for this!

Perhaps another ending could be Go Compare man asking Snoop to loan him two quid for the bus, as they all trop out dejectedly.

Should have used this for the car sketch!

Very nice work.

Excellent, minor tweek I think all you need to say is mum bought the car, or even she's dead and they've been left the car

great punchline

Quote: Nick81 @ 12th August 2014, 12:21 PM BST

Should have used this for the car sketch!

Very nice work.

Rub it in Nick!

Thanks for the feedback

Quote: gappy @ 12th August 2014, 12:21 PM BST

Pity, I'd have voted for this!

Perhaps another ending could be Go Compare man asking Snoop to loan him two quid for the bus, as they all trop out dejectedly.

Haha. Yea, I think there is loads of alternative endings and the idea as a whole has some legs. I was even going to have Aleksandr from Comparethemeerkat appear at the end!

Quote: sootyj @ 12th August 2014, 12:27 PM BST

Excellent, minor tweek I think all you need to say is mum bought the car, or even she's dead and they've been left the car

great punchline

Cheers sooty.

The tweak would require quite a bit of reworking though - as the call is an excited one and obviously gives impression of PPI calling?

I like it.

I do like the way you have written Snoop Dogg's line. It just captures him him perfectly.

Quote: Deferenz @ 12th August 2014, 12:51 PM BST

I like it.

I do like the way you have written Snoop Dogg's line. It just captures him him perfectly.

Cheers Deferenz!

Snoop writes his own lines :-)

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