British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 57

But they aren't what they used to be....

Ain't dear boy, ain't!

Aint it 'fings' ?

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 29th July 2014, 5:47 PM BST

Agree with Nick
Changing "Things" to "it" lessens the joke IMHO

Fair enough, replace "it" with "things" but having the "straight away" after the punchline (in Nick's original) is clunky and steps on the audience's laughter, in my opinion.

"Was nervous starting my job as a street cleaner, but I soon picked things up"

I thought I'd be no good at eavesdropping, but I soon picked things up.

I've got a magnetic personality

I keep picking up none retro s metals

I know a man should have a hobby. But I met a guy in the pub the other day... told me he was a garbage collector!

nice

I know him unlucky in love, he keeps picking up trash.

At first I couldn't get the hang of playing American Football,
But there was not stopping me,once I'd picked it up,

I was in court today for stealing a Dictionary from Waterstones,
The Judge says I could be looking at a long sentence!

I was court today for stealing a thesaurus, the judge said I should learn the meaning of work, so I nicked a dictionary too.

My karate mad mate almost gave it up just before he reached black belt.

Thankfully, he saw sensei and changed his mind.

My mate grew Bonsai trees as a hobby but he became so successful he had to buy a smaller greenhouse. (Not oregano)

Even though he knows nothing about them, my mate has just spent a fortune on various drugs telling me he's going to be a dealer.

Talk about all the gear no idea.

A six foot Lego man had sex with a six foot Lego woman. Then they broke up.

My last girlfriend was full of helium,
I should never have let her go!

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