ERROR
Comedy sketch - Banana Peel
sorry dude, it's pretty much all hack
your characters shouldn't be saying each others names, they know them, nobody speaks like this:
Hello Bob, Hello Carol - especially a married couple and especially just in the living room.
And slipping on banana skins? Really? If you're going to do something this unoriginal you need to change it so it is original
And why a whoopee cushion? Is it just becaus eyou think they are funny? It didn't seem to have no reason to be there
And 'by eck, are you two going to audition for a mummy film?' - Come on behave yourself!
Also, the ending, with the more bananas - so what?!
If you've heard a joke before, so has the audience, so don't include them
I liked the idea of the chain of events, one disaster leading to another ala Laurel and Hardy...but the stilted dialogue and heavy handedness let it down.
Quote: Shandonbelle @ 29th July 2014, 11:59 AM BSTI liked the idea of the chain of events, one disaster leading to another ala Laurel and Hardy...but the stilted dialogue and heavy handedness let it down.
Reminds me of the classic advertising client comment:
"Client loves the idea - just doesn't like the picture or the headline"
I think the whole piece as part of a sequence is the idea. Installation art if you will.
Quote: Marc P @ 29th July 2014, 12:57 PM BST
Is that smile available for weddings and bar mitzvah's Marc?
Quote: Lazzard @ 29th July 2014, 1:47 PM BST"Client loves the idea - just doesn't like the picture or the headline"
Quote: Shandonbelle @ 29th July 2014, 2:35 PM BSTIs that smile available for weddings and bar mitzvah's Marc?
It's available for the rub of a florin!
Quote: Marc P @ 29th July 2014, 3:42 PM BSTIt's available for the rub of a Florence
Filth!
I get the feeling that Francis Cleft is deliberately portraying a bad comedy writer. Otherwise...
Blimey!