Um... I didn't copy and paste shit. Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? And I'm sorry, I don't recall seeing any of your live sets.
Tell us a joke Page 56
Quote: NateSean @ 27th July 2014, 8:14 PM BSTUm... I didn't copy and paste shit. Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? And I'm sorry, I don't recall seeing any of your live sets.
I wasn't implying you Nate, the other chap. I don't do stand up, just write jokes. Fair play if you think you can make a go of it, all I did was critique your joke.
Quote: Tony Cowards @ 27th July 2014, 12:21 PM BSTI've never sold a joke for a penny, let alone ten.
Hang on you write more than 10 jokes a penny, my word!
I played bass in a show for a few weeks. It was almost exactly the same every night, so I got to wondering how much I was getting paid per note. It worked out at just about 10 notes a penny. Not funny, but true! 
I complained to the council about pot holes
they told me to stop smoking weed in a shell suit
The Avon lady turned up with some samples yesterday.
Turned out she was pregnant.
I was nervous starting my new job as a street cleaner yesterday.
Luckily I picked things up straight away.
I ordered some loud speakers online but I must have made a typo
because Baroness D'Souza and Baroness Hayman turned up.
Quote: Nick81 @ 29th July 2014, 8:21 AM BSTI was nervous starting my new job as a street cleaner yesterday.
Luckily I picked things up straight away.
The crucial part of the punchline is "I picked things up" so that needs to be the end of the line.
A better version, IMHO, would be;
Was nervous starting my job cleaning rubbish from the street, but I soon picked it up.
I realise that the set up is now a bit clumsier but it allows the punchline to be punchier, which is more important.
I was nervous starting my new job at the VD clinic, but I soon picked it up.
I was nervous starting my job as a litter collector yesterday. But I needn't have been... I soon picked it up.
Quote: Tony Cowards @ 29th July 2014, 12:09 PM BSTThe crucial part of the punchline is "I picked things up" so that needs to be the end of the line.
A better version, IMHO, would be;
Was nervous starting my job cleaning rubbish from the street, but I soon picked it up.
I realise that the set up is now a bit clumsier but it allows the punchline to be punchier, which is more important.
I think my version flows a little better, but thanks for both yours and Marc P's suggestions.
No charge for mine.
Agree with Nick
Changing "Things" to "it" lessens the joke IMHO
Yes agree things is better than it.