the Bristol nhs
I will leave your intestines-festerin
and hanging like tentacles,
take a grip on your dick
and rip off ya testicles.
then I'd rip your heart-apart
and dissect ya ventricles
and cut out ya eyeballs
with your busted spectacles
Who is the forum's worst poet? Page 2
(Wu) Tangy stuff.
Sorry, I though we were looking for worst poem, not best poem?
lol well I got a lot of stick for some of my stuff , so I thought all mine had a chance 
'Last Night I Dreamt I was Playing Darts with Marilyn Manson'
A voice spoke, stentorian: 'God of F**k, you require for-ty!'
I woke.
I am a brilliant poet
I've always got one on the go. It
Is always very goood
But may not buy me much new food.
I find the key to it's my rhyming
Along with quite amazing amounts of work to get just the right timing.
I think that people should rightly call
Me the new William Topaz McGonagall.
We could have a winner
I wandered lonely as a cloud
up and down some hills
burning all the yellow flowers
cos I hate daffodils
oh poor old dark lord sauron
its not a funny thing
he went to the loo in the crack of doom
and really burnt his ring.
Uri Geller
Getting thinner
Bent utensil
Spilling dinner
I've sat here reading all these poems,
But nothings caught my eye,
Until I started writing this,
Because I'm a clever guy,
It's just a natural talent I have,
To be thinking of the rhyme
As I write the first part,
I know what's coming next all the time,
So I'll pat myself on the back,
as I sit here eating my Orange,
Knowing I'm such a good poem writer
I'll I never get caught without a..Oh!
Melange?
Lozenge?
So this is a comp
To find the forums worst poet
I think Slarnder
Has a huge handicap
Because clearly the guy has no wit
It's not fair
he has a head start
Only 2 brain cells left to depart
The irony is that
This is on par
With the very worst poems we've read so far
So before this poem gets any dimmer
Let's just declare me
The undisputed winner
I think I'll stay away from poetry from here on in.
I've had a sore throat for several days,
It was cause by my eating an orange,
Thank fully a cure has come my way,
Thank to this wonderful lozenge!
Ha. I'm American so that's two points against me already. This is definitely my worst attempt at poetry. It's something I wrote ages ago, back when my little Gameboy Silver was my only form of entertainment and I'm not proud of it.
My tribute to Doctor Mario
Awake at eight on my day off
I lay there maybe half an hour
When I get up my brains a bit slow
I'm not ready to face the world beyond my door
So I reach for the Gameboy and flip it on
Damn! The batteries are dead
Since I'm working on a budget I decide to be clever
I mix and match my old ones to try and get more juice
I pop them in and flip the switch.
Damn. These are dead. Try again.
Ah ha! Success at last! The light's bright red.
But how long will it last? Who cares? So long as I can play.
At level twenty on the lowest speed
With skill I maneuver the pills into place
A-flip, Pad-right, slip into a little alcove.
Match the pills to the colour of the little bugs and pop!
The little bastards die
It's such a basic game with such a complex message
The right actions are their own reward
And if you lose you can only blame yourself
You have no business showing that in public.