Hello! First time poster here! Just wondered if you could take a look at my first scene of my new sitcom featuring a boy and a girl who have met online and are due to meet up in person for the first time. Any thoughts you have would be most welcome. Ta!
Online to off
Johnno
Stop it! Everyone's looking at me! You've got a right dirty laugh, d'you know that? You sound like Barbara Windsor!
Kate
It's the smoking.
Johnno
I didn't know you smoked.
Kate
Yeah, I do, but I'm gonna start giving up when I'm 28 and then definitely stop when I'm 30.
Can you believe we're actually going to meet tomorrow?
Johnno
Only 17 hours to go now, babes.
Mavis
- Hiya, Kate.
Kate
- All right, Mavis? How's the leg?
Mavis
I wish they'd cut the bugger off.
Kate
-Oh, you don't mean that.
Mavis
Oh, yes, I do.
BEAT
You hand me the knife, I'll do it myself.
BEAT
You still going up town on your blind date?
Kate
It's not really a blind date.
We've been talking for six months.
Just haven't mete.
Mavis
What time are you off?
Kate
First thing.
I'm shitting myself.
Mavis
Kate, dear, you've got to chill out.
The thing to remember is don't go giving him anything on the first night.
Kate
Really?
Mavis
Well, no, not nothing. A kiss, a cuddle, a cheeky finger.
Just don't go selling him the whole farm.
Kate
Oh, thanks, Mave.
Mavis
See you, love.
Int. Kate house. Afternoon
Kate
Hiya, Mam.
Jill
Hiya, luv.
Was that Mavis you spoke to?
Kate
Yeah.
Jill
How's her leg?
Kate
Fine.
Jill
What's that top?
Kate
Primark.
5 quid, down from 10.
Jill
Can't go wrong.