Some offensive skits for news revue Page 2

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ 24th June 2014, 3:55 PM BST

I think both skits have the makings. Laughs and funny ideas in both. It doesn't matter to me if they don't 'go together'.

Now sootyj..

Not that long ago, you started an "I went to a restaurant and.." thread, claiming that you had invented the format, when all you'd done was tweaked an ancient one which traces back to antiquity.

When this was pointed out to you, all hell broke loose and toys were flying out of prams at a rate of knots from pop-up associates with ridiculous claims and averred lack of knowledge of the age-old existence of said format. One particular pop-up did nothing but troll on your behalf..

..and now you've reversed your position. Irony and a salutory lesson.

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Blimey for one moment I thought you were calling me a Troll again? I see you have deleted your comments as usual in said thread. why do you do that Stylee?

Pope Frank 2

POPE FRANK IS TALKING TO CARDINAL SIN AND CARDINAL CREAM
SIN
Pope Francis
FRANK
What did I tell you to call me you f**king, dress wearing, bishop muppet.
CREAM
Your holiness
FRANK
It’s Pope F**king Frank or I’ll shove your mitre where the sun don’t shine.
SIN
Pope Frank it’s about your trip to Israel we wanted to discuss preparations.
FRANK
What preparations, I’ve got a kiss me kwik Pope’s hate, 2 litres of Soltan
CREAM
But your holiness your visiting a land sacred to the Jews and the Muslims.
FRANK
I know cardinal silly bollocks, that’s why I’ve got a case of Stella and a case of bacon sandwiches.
SIN
But your holiness what about the peace process bringing the Jews and Muslims back together.
FRANK
Piece of piss, literally.
CREAM
I beg your pardon your holiness.
FRANK
Yeh dead I easy I piss on the separation wall to annoy the Arabs, then I piss on the wailing wall to annoy the Jews.
SIN
Then I suppose you have a Walls ice cream.
FRANK
What a third wall, I can’t do that many pisses I’m not a f**king fire engine.
CREAM
Even if you’re the same colour.
FRANK
Watch it mush before I introduce my boot to the parish of your arse.
SIN
So Pope Frank will you be visiting the Holocaust memorial.
FRANK
Yeh if I get time before I hit the beach.
CREAM
Oh good Pope Frank then you can offer to return all that stolen Jewish money we hid for the Nazis
SIN
And name all the Nazis we helped hide in South American.
FRANK
Actually this is an ecumenical visit to spread love and Christian brotherhood and call me Pope Francise.

Just joined this site and have no credibility amongst any of the regulars. Being a member of other forums I know how cliques form and so I think I may cause some to rush to the aide of the poster;

The tattoo shop sketch was a bit boring and the FGM mention was obviously added to be 'up to the minute' and controversial. Trouble is it didn't fit anywhere. (I understand the loss of sex drive would maybe change her outlook, but if your character is true to her roots she would be more likely to turn to heroin rather than heroines) I think the joke about the poster outside the council house saying, "Happy 30th nana" is funnier and sums the first sketch up in three words.

The Pope sketch suggesting all the paedo stuff and the Nazi ex-pope has been done to death on every celeb panel show over the last five years.
Again, not funny or engaging.

I'm not a professional, nor do I know a great deal about writing.

But as a lover of comedy I know what I like.

Then again it is all subjective.

Sorry.

Quote: Wadley @ 29th June 2014, 10:38 PM BST

Just joined this site and have no credibility amongst any of the regulars. Being a member of other forums I know how cliques form and so I think I may cause some to rush to the aide of the poster;

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The regulars have no credability among the regulars. Hop on board.

Quote: Wadley @ 29th June 2014, 10:38 PM BST

I know how cliques form and so I think I may cause some to rush to the aide of the poster;

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Unlikely. Sooty has his failings (as he would no doubt acknowledge) but he is always keen to hear feedback on his stuff - good, bad and indifferent. No need to rush to anyone's aid here.

That's true jenny although the pope joke wasn't about classic popes a paedo jokes and rather how Francis is the nice pope who doesn't actually do much different. But like you say you're new to giving feedback

Some funny lines in there sooty.

But your usual advice to a lot of people is to make the writing more natural. I just can't hear anyone saying any of the lines in that first sketch. It just came across as a very very thinly veiled attack on the lower class.

That's fair scartledge haven't written for news revue for years and vaguely remembered they like it crude and simple.

insert own your mum joke

Quote: sootyj @ 30th June 2014, 8:26 AM BST

insert own your mum joke

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That is just wrong on so many levels. Mind you I wouldn't be surprised if some ancient greek stand up comedian created a funny catchphrase on it.