The BCG Surgery

As we all know, going to the doctors is a total waste of bloody time

That's if you can get an appointment to even see the lazy quack in the first place

And then you have to sit in the waiting room for over 40 minutes with dole scum and senile pensioners

So share your medical worries here instead in the hope that someone on here has read a few medical books and has watched Casualty every Saturday night for the last 20 years and can help

Ok I'll start

And sorry it's a tad gross

My problem is I have phlegm in the back of my throat like 24 hrs a day - and it's pissing me the hell off

Anyone else had this?

What did you do to stop it?

Thanks

Do you smoke?

Nope

Stop fellating goats

Quote: sootyj @ 28th June 2014, 11:17 PM BST

Stop fellating goats

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See I thought that

But the doc says goat spunk is perfectly healthy in moderation

Quote: lofthouse @ 28th June 2014, 11:12 PM BST

My problem is I have phlegm in the back of my throat like 24 hrs a day - and it's pissing me the hell off

Anyone else had this?

What did you do to stop it?

Thanks

View original

Yep. A CT scan could not find anything wrong with my sinuses so they reckoned it was probably excess stomach acid. The consultant told me to eat less dairy and diagnosed an acid pump inhibitor (lanzoprazole). Not sure if it has helped or not.

I suspect this thread is going to end in avoidable tragedy.

Phlegm is designed to fight off bacterial infections etc . You cough up the thick mucus and it helps clear the bad stuff away. If it's being going on for a while see the doctor for some moxycillin, mild antibiotic - should kick it into touch.

I've had it for years

When I finally sought help - the doc prescribed pills

They made it about 50% worse!

So I binned em

I thought it could be dairy also so I've tried cutting down on milk a bit

Quote: Tursiops @ 28th June 2014, 11:36 PM BST

I suspect this thread is going to end in avoidable tragedy.

View original

I've often suspected sooty has something of the Harold Shipmans about him , so... think on

It might be fluid from sinuses irritating your throat. Try a nasal spray like Beconase for a few days.

Quote: Tursiops @ 28th June 2014, 11:36 PM BST

an acid pump inhibitor (lanzoprazole). Not sure if it has helped or not.

View original

I got prescribed that several years back as I had really bad indigestion for about a month. Sorted it out in about a week.

I think we need Tim Walker to escape his marital hell and come back to the boards for this thread to avoid tragedy. Until then, as I have a diploma in health studies, I shall take on the role as Dr Death.

Is it phlegm or bile? If it's phlegm then try to be more spontaneous and animated and all that. Do more, think less. It will then go away.

If it's bile then try to be less gloomy and negative, smile more and be happy. Think about your bright future with the schoolgirl next door, don't dwell on your awful past. It will then go away.

You don't want to use leeches here, what you need is to stimulate the other humours you are deficient in, one of which is blood. My prescription for you - a 10 mile run in the morning and vigorous sex with a lusty 14 year old at bedtime. Repeat for 28 days or until worn out.

500 year old medical advice but free.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 29th June 2014, 10:19 AM BST

500 year old medical advice but free.

View original

And from personal experience more useful than the interventions of modern medical science.

If it wasn't for modern medical science then I daresay at least half of us wouldn't be alive to post!

God yes, I was just commenting on Lofty's specific query, where exercise, fresh air and a positive attitude have done more good than a LOT of medical intervention (it was not the only symptom).

So about my bunion - should I let the sawbones loose on it or not?