I was in a posh hotel in America where they had a rule that fat women must wear cardigans to cover up unsightly flesh.
I'm sure it states in the second amendment that all citizens have the right to bare arms.
Tell us a joke Page 42
My boss asked me to find him a bulldog clip today.
So I emailed him a YouTube video of one riding a skateboard.
Tommy Robinson is sitting home grumbling about how he'd done better with the English Defence.
That match was frustrating for Rooney, I bet he was pulling his new hair out!
My doctor showed me an X-ray of himself,
'Selfie?' I asked.
'Not sure' he said.
Got to admit I'm not a football fan, so I'm guessing the first joke had to do with the World Cup. The second one doesn't make much sense to me.
"It's healthy" is I think the thrust. It's a well-spotted pun opportunity, but I don't think it works as it stands.
These are two I want to do when I have more of a following. They're about what got me into comedy.
When I was a kid, my parents exposed me to a lot of well known comedians. We needed the hush money.
When I tell a joke, I judge response on a scale of one to ten. Ten being a definite spot on Conan and One being, "No one was actually there, I just imagined an audience and they still thought I sucked."
Why are the KKK mediocre at maths? They love division but hate difference
I read that when you flush a toilet in Australia the water goes the opposite way to toilets in England.
That must make one hell of a mess.
Quote: gappy @ 23rd June 2014, 10:04 PM BST"It's healthy" is I think the thrust. It's a well-spotted pun opportunity, but I don't think it works as it stands.
Ey, that be right.
Think it would work better in a sitcom/radio setting where you can use regional accents to work with the punch line.
Something like:
Two Yorkshire men Stood in a field.
1.) Ma doctor keeps showin't me picture of 'im wit' cabbages
2.) Is it a selfie?
1.) Eye, it's as 'ealthy as spuds.
Quote: danphobic @ 23rd June 2014, 8:22 PM BSTMy doctor showed me an X-ray of himself,
'Selfie?' I asked.
'Not sure' he said.
Sory but I didn't understand until you explained.
Quote: sootyj @ 23rd June 2014, 10:28 PM BSTWhy are the KKK mediocre at maths? They love division but hate difference
I just played ClueCluxdo
The victim as usual was Dr Black
Quote: lomas @ 23rd June 2014, 10:44 PM BSTI read that when you flush a toilet in Australia the water goes the opposite way to toilets in England.
That must make one hell of a mess.
Quote: lomas @ 23rd June 2014, 10:44 PM BSTI read that when you flush a toilet in Australia the water goes the opposite way to toilets in England.
That must make one hell of a mess.
just got that and it's worth a booyah, you should think about finding a market for your jokes/
Just met a group of small armed dinosaurs who were totally addicted to Chai. Bunch of tea wrecks if you ask me.