Quote: sootyj @ 21st June 2014, 9:29 PM BSTI'll be honest I've got no sense of rhythmn so I don't usually get poems
but I didn't like them
they seemed to be forcing some awkward rhymes, to make an unpleasant point and no real punchline
sorry its the kinda mistake I make with poems myself
they are meant to have nonsense styles often with dark elements. Where are the awkward rhymes? And punchlines are for jokes.
Punchlines is for any artistic form
I don't know where the specific awkward rhymes are they read ugly
Sorry I found.them a pathan the ass
Quote: sootyj @ 21st June 2014, 9:46 PM BSTPunchlines is for any artistic form
I don't know where the specific awkward rhymes are they read ugly
Sorry I found.them a pathan the ass
Didn't understand most of that.
That's OK nothing wrong with critiquing the critique
Mostly they weren't enjoyable to me
Quote: sootyj @ 21st June 2014, 9:52 PM BSTThat's OK nothing wrong with critiquing the critique
Mostly they weren't enjoyable to me
can you explain why in more detail?
I read a couple about child abuse and stopped. I don't really see a point to them, to be honest. They aren't funny, they aren't particularly clever, they aren't seeking to make a point. Sorry, not my thing at all.
This entire thing is pointless... if no one adds advice and they just slag it off, there is no point, so I'm off this forum ... pointless
My advice? Write something better. Sorry. What do you want to hear? They are amazing, I love them.
Life is full of critique, use it and become better. Losers live in denial. As Dr Phil says, winners deal with the truth.
Quote: Jennie @ 21st June 2014, 10:02 PM BSTMy advice? Write something better. Sorry. What do you want to hear? They are amazing, I love them.
Life is full of critique, use it and become better. Losers live in denial. As Dr Phil says, winners deal with the truth.
Critique is just saying 'this is rubbish, that is rubbish'
To be honest I'm not going to put more effort into critiques ng yur poem then you did writing it
D read the ode less travelled if I was you
Quote: sootyj @ 21st June 2014, 10:07 PM BSTTo be honest I'm not going to put more effort into critiques ng yur poem then you did writing it
D read the ode less travelled if I was you
again, I don't understand... your point is invalid if it's not in understandable English
OK, fine. I deal with unpleasant things for a living so think I am pretty hardened to that kind of thing.
However, I do not wish to read fairly graphic accounts of child sex abuse/suicide/infanticide.
As a general rule, I think the offensiveness of the subject matter should be proportionate to the quality of the piece of work.
If you are going to write something I am going to find grotesque, you need to give me a damn good reason to read it or I am not going to leave with a positive feeling about your work.
I would try and work out why you are writing about those kind of subjects. What drives you to explore this type of thing and what do you seek to achieve by doing it?
I also agree that the rhymes were a bit laboured. But it is the subject matter that was the real problem for me.
To be honest rupe do you think there's a reason your not getting feedback?
Quote: sootyj @ 21st June 2014, 10:11 PM BSTTo be honest rupe do you think there's a reason your not getting feedback?
No
Ah I would have thought it was an ingratious defence of lazily written bad poetry after setting up an insulting thread over the lack of feedback
Not that then?