Am I as funny as I thought?!

I'm starting off doing stand up as I'm just starting off if you steal my jokes I suppose it's ok.. That's if you find them funny? Here is a couple for you

The fear in the elderly people when you walk up to them in a street is a picture. They always worry about the youth of today mugging and I suppose rape? I would never mug or rape anyone... Unless it was a really good opportunity.

Talking of fear I am the sort of person when walking down the road will avoid conflict I will even cross the road if I think someone looks like they want to hurt me e.g anyone bigger then me or just being black would be enough.

Here is just a couple please don't take it to heart if your old big or black or all if your really unfortunate.

If you thought you weren't funny then yes.

Not the constructive criticism I was after whole point of this is to get feedback I'm new starting out and after pointers to make things better?

I thought you said you crossed the street to avoid confrontation. We're you lying?Would you tell the joke in a room full of black people?

Answering these questions will make you a better joke writer.

Alot of comics will tell jokes on every day experiance if you go to see stand up you have to be open minded and take everything with a pinch of salt it's not offensive unless you want it to be if you have no sence of humour and take it to heart that's up to you if you watch comedy they will insult people alot worse. Also many black comics have half there act about racism just cus im white it shouldn't mean it's any more offensive.

There is a rather large gulf between jokes about racism and jokes that are racist.

The good news Ollie is that you aren't at risk of people stealing your jokes.

Sounds like you're good to go then. As for everyday experience I hope your mum and or granny don't live near you. But I have no sense of humour apparently so go with the people who have and give you a yes. Good luck with it anyway.. I admire anyone who do it, mostly, if not sometimes their material.

I do agree but what I said was not racist it's a laugh it's a stereotype the things that are funny? How many comics use homophobic material? I bet you find that funny it's just as bad but people are too worried about what is classed as racist and what is not so do not use it unless there black themselves they seem to be able to say what they like. None of it is ment to offend anyone.

And as before not everything is true I would never mug or rape anyone it's saying the unexpected that's funny and reading is not as funny as hearing half the time I just want some constructive criticism to help me improve my jokes and get to the point of preforming in front of a crowd I was hoping some experianced writers and comics would help me do this rather than just saying it's crap

You might want to address the question in the title then. To learn you have to listen. And yes them blacks get away with everything. They can even call themselves niggers. Is that fair? Find some jokes that you can improve. And no I don't find homophobic jokes funny either, bugger that for a laugh.

Pun intended? And yes I agree but im hoping writers/comics on here can Imagen that and see how it could be improved before I burn in front of a audience I am not expecting to go up first time and get everyone to love me I no I will be nervouse forget things and not be as funny as I hoped but having a half decent script to go up with will at least give me chance to build confidence and get on the right track to be a half decent comic

I've moved this to the critique forum for now, as I'm not a moderator on the Jim Davidson forum.

Before you attempt the high wire of is it isn't it offensive comedy, I would learn some craft with some tumbling on the ground would be my honest and best advice

Quote: Lee @ 17th June 2014, 11:55 PM BST

I've moved this to the critique forum for now, as I'm not a moderator on the Jim Davidson forum.

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Are you forum or against him?

What do you mean by that?

Have no idea who or what that is only joined today?

God knows! It's like a riddle wrapped in a wrapper!

Your punchlines aren't funny and they're offensive. If they were funny, they'd be less offensive because we'd forgive you for being funny. That doesn't justify being offensive but it's one step closer to being funny.

What you have basically said is that you cross the road when you see black people. That's a cliché, an unoriginal observation and offensive. You didn't offer us anything new with that piece of information, nor did you take us by surprise (apart from the nerve about making that statement in public).

Learn the basics of joke writing. Learn where to source material. Make original observations. Practice taking critism because a live audience will be much more harsh than Marc P.