British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,611

Quote: Raymond Terrific @ 7th June 2014, 12:37 PM BST

You still don't seem to have got the point I'm making though. An armed uprising will only work if the citizens have weapons even vaguely matching what the army has. So, in the UK, that *doesn't* mean AK-47s and hunting rifles.

Now, this is where we get into two interesting dilemmas -

1) Anti-gunners are calling for a ban on 'military style assault rifles' as they call them or modern sporting rifles as the gun community calls them. So these are either weapons of war unfit for civilian ownership due to their overwhelming fire power or they are fairly innocuous and practical tools for marksmanship, hunting and competition - akin to a bow and arrow.

2) If government militaries are all powerful then every single uprising would have been crushed due to their superior force. Despite drones and stealth bombers, wars are won by feet on the ground. Switzerland has never been invaded due to the number of armed citizens - a veritable Dad's Army on steroids. Unless you're carrying out a 'scorched earth' policy in which you level every single building and settlement, then holding areas with troops is next to impossible against such overwhelming numbers.

Certainly cruise missiles, artillery, jet fighters, etc. help to make a difference, but as is being evidenced in Afghanistan, they only proved to be useful on a tactical and not a strategic level.

Quote: Stylee TingTing @ 7th June 2014, 12:24 AM BST

Oh God, this old chestnut - it's palpably not true,.

Figures to back this up?

Paris does bloody good with the tourist trade though no bloody royals.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 7th June 2014, 12:45 AM BST

Alternatively, the rule for looters since forever is that they are shot without a second thought.

in fairness that never really happens, I think in all but the worst attrocious states, people in or out of uniform don't want to kill or die for a telly out of Currys.

Slurry deaths.

WTF is the matter with these people?

Have there not been enough deaths for them to think 'This might be risky. Better take some precautions.' ?

RIP Rik Mayall. :(

Quote: Nil Putters @ 9th June 2014, 4:18 PM BST

RIP Rik Mayall. :(

Eh?

Quote: Nil Putters @ 9th June 2014, 4:18 PM BST

RIP Rik Mayall. :(

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Angry Teary :(

Really sad. :(

I kind of don't want to post my pug wedding story as the next post...but never mind.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2652838/You-lick-bride-Lovestruck-PUGS-tie-knot-lavish-2-000-ceremony.html

Quote: Nil Putters @ 9th June 2014, 4:18 PM BST

RIP Rik Mayall. :(

Many years ago, a good mate of mine was the manger of the Albery Theatre where Cell Mates was playing. On the last night of the show he called me up and said 'We're all going to Rik Mayall's house for an after show party, fancy coming along?'

I got to meet Rik and shared a joke with him, but he was incredibly manic, which I couldn't tell was natural or drug induced, but nonetheless he was incredible performer and will be sorely missed.

Quote: keewik @ 7th June 2014, 10:40 PM BST

Paris does bloody good with the tourist trade though no bloody royals.

People go to Paris because it wasn't bombed to crap during the war. If we had capitulated to the Nazis, then no doubt we could attract more tourists with our old buildings - instead we draw them in with our incredible history...including the monarchy.

Plus Monaco has a royal family and they're practically France.

Nice.

Quote: Jennie @ 9th June 2014, 9:20 PM BST

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2652838/You-lick-bride-Lovestruck-PUGS-tie-knot-lavish-2-000-ceremony.html

Their owner Christine Reynolds, 52, a dog groomer from Milton Keynes, said: 'I know what people must think.

'I am barking mad, but I know my pugs are in love so getting them married seem like the right thing to do.

'Now that they are married they can sleep in the same bed and hopefully have some puppies together.'

The zombie apocalypse can't come soon enough.

Go MK! \o/

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 9th June 2014, 9:29 PM BST

People go to Paris because it wasn't bombed to crap during the war. If we had capitulated to the Nazis, then no doubt we could attract more tourists with our old buildings - instead we draw them in with our incredible history...including the monarchy.

Plus Monaco has a royal family and they're practically France.

You know me for speaking my mind - I can't believe you believe such crap. I doubt anybody gives a thought to the war when planning a visit to Paris. As for Monaco - it's on another planet from Paris ... Who gives Monaco a thought when planning to visit Paris? Their royal family is probably about as interesting to people as my window cleaner. Laughing out loud

Quote: keewik @ 9th June 2014, 11:25 PM BST

You know me for speaking my mind - I can't believe you believe such crap. I doubt anybody gives a thought to the war when planning a visit to Paris. As for Monaco - it's on another planet from Paris ... Who gives Monaco a thought when planning to visit Paris? Their royal family is probably about as interesting to people as my window cleaner. Laughing out loud

I always fancied Princess Caroline and I planned to marry her one day.

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