British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,607

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 4th June 2014, 6:35 PM BST

Every little helps.

That was the problem they couldn't work out if I was finest or big value.

Quote: Marc P @ 4th June 2014, 6:33 PM BST

I have a woven cotton shopping bag in green from Bakers & Larners of Holt. I think it makes a nice statement when I venture out for some fresh crusty rolls and celery salt.

Rest assured. It makes a statement all right.

Quote: Marc P @ 4th June 2014, 6:33 PM BST

I have a woven cotton shopping bag in green from Bakers & Larners of Holt if I need a dump in Waitrose or to throw up my breakfast gin, it can take some punishment. I think it makes a nice statement when I venture out for some fresh crusty rolls and celery salt.

That's going on overhead Waitrose

Waitrose is ok but I source my quails eggs from a good local butcher!

Quote: Marc P @ 4th June 2014, 9:27 PM BST

Waitrose is ok but I sauce a good local butcher!

You're insatiable

I've heard something like this before.

Apparently some bloke in Malaysia ordered a penis enlarger online for £100.

The disgruntled customer received .... a magnifying glass - with the instruction "Do not use in sunlight!"

Justin Bieber's Sings a song about and rant about the Ni**** word and talking about it on one of his videos.

Now, don't get me wrong.I have every respect and admiration for the heroes of the D Day landings.

But spare a thought for the 'D Day Dodgers'

My dad was one. He went through the North Africa campaign, the invasion of Sicily and the slog up through Italy including the fighting at Monte Cassino.

They don't have a specific date like June 6 1944 where the world can say thanks.

So I'll do it. Thanks Dad.

Me too

Thanks very much.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 5th June 2014, 10:03 PM BST

Now, don't get me wrong.I have every respect and admiration for the heroes of the D Day landings.

But spare a thought for the 'D Day Dodgers'

My dad was one. He went through the North Africa campaign, the invasion of Sicily and the slog up through Italy including the fighting at Monte Cassino.

They don't have a specific date like June 6 1944 where the world can say thanks.

So I'll do it. Thanks Dad.

http://m.metrolyrics.com/the-dday-dodgers-lyrics-clancy-brothers.html

Probably one of the greatest satirical songs of all time

Sacrificed to Mark Clark's bloody ego and Churchill s

Thanks for reminding me of that soots.

Damn, got something in my eye . . . .

Quote: Oldrocker @ 5th June 2014, 10:03 PM BST

Now, don't get me wrong.I have every respect and admiration for the heroes of the D Day landings.

But spare a thought for the 'D Day Dodgers'

My dad was one. He went through the North Africa campaign, the invasion of Sicily and the slog up through Italy including the fighting at Monte Cassino.

They don't have a specific date like June 6 1944 where the world can say thanks.

So I'll do it. Thanks Dad.

Good for him! Mine was in the navy. I know he was at Dunkirk but he just did not speak about the war. When he came home from hospital after being diagnosed with cancer, we could hear him having a nightmare one night where he thought he was being dive-bombed by the enemy. I don't know if it related to real life. How I wish I'd tried to get him to talk about the war.

Yeah thanks Old Rocker's dad.

My dad was never in the front line or actually fought but he was in the RAF and I understand he was offshore that day.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-27713327

Obama hates keewik - official.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/06/05/scottish-independence-lego-treasury-list_n_5451896.html?utm_hp_ref=uk

And the No Campaign are using Legos to describe to Scottish people what money is.

Americans are cheeky bastards who think they've the right to tell other countries how to run their business. Obama has probably helped the Yes campaign. We don't like outsiders dictating to us.

And by the way, my son was out tonight canvassing for the 'No' campaign (obviously I didn't raise him properly) and apart from being told to sod off by various yobs, it was appalling how many people said they wouldn't be voting.

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