British Comedy Guide

Politically incorrect remarks wanted. Page 5

I don't know what else to say other than sorry.
It is also quite rude to suggest I've neither lance nor nag.

I'm afraid I'm a compulsive teller of truth, I've been assaulted countless times in this election campaign.
You could just delete the post, just press the edit button and then tick the delete button at the bottom of the page.

Is lance a penis?

No probs in that department. All my four wives (I'm a Mormon) look forward to their turn on what they call the kidney wiper.

Again the Bard has something to say about this.

Quote: Jerf Roberwitz @ 25th May 2014, 3:34 PM BST

I don't know what else to say other than sorry.
It is also quite rude to suggest I've neither lance nor nag.

ok , you have an mule and a stick . but no armour , or a page . sooty and marc are well armoured verbally and also have many pages . of funny stuff . :)

[quote name="Jerf Roberwitz" post="1073328" date="25th May 2014, 4:04 PM BST"]No probs in that department. All my four wives (I'm a Mormon) look forward to their turn on what they call the kidney wiper.
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4 wives = a lot of 'nags' btw .

Of 65 posts I'm the only one to post a politically incorrect remark.

I'm incapable of making one.

Quote: Jerf Roberwitz @ 25th May 2014, 8:32 PM BST

Of 65 posts I'm the only one to post a politically incorrect remark.

that's because you are an allah worshipping psychopathic cocksucking ukip scumbag who beats women . and it was really you who said ' migger ' on the Clarkson tapes. anyway got to go and undo my bitches chain so it can do the washing up .

Quote: Jerf Roberwitz @ 25th May 2014, 8:32 PM BST

Of 65 posts I'm the only one to post a politically incorrect remark.

How does that make you feel?

So you are calling me a troll? That's quite a serious accusation. What's the evidence here and what is it exactly do you think Jerf might have been offended by? And what exactly also do you feel I have never slapped on the table?

Anyhoooo... Jerf back to the fun.

Two labourers, Bert and Fred in need of a good clean are standing in a railed off hole by the side of the street. A sassy curvaceous woman struts by on high heels her body swaying to the rhythm of the music she is listening to on her iPod.

BERT: cor look at the arse on her. You could slap that Saturday night and it would still be quivering Sunday morning.

FRED: Oi! That's my wife!

BERT: Sorry mate. (he looks at the woman some more as she walks away and then thoughtfully at Fred for a beat)
When did you say you were going away on that lads weekend.

FRED: Friday week.

BERT: hang on. If she's your wife why didn't she say hello?

FRED: She don't like the people at the meetings she goes to knowing her old man is a common labourer. Like her shit don't stink. Know what I mean?

(Bert nods. He does only too well. )

BERT: so what kind of meetings? Bingo? Weight watchers?

FRED: town council. She's the town mayoress.

BERT: (beat) I wouldn't mind putting a chain round her neck!

FRED: (becoming upset) Don't.

BERT: what's up mate?

FRED: you know that big dogs kennel in my garden?

BERT: (shakes his head) I didn't even know you had a dog.

FRED: (tearing up) I don't .

BERT: (uncomfortable) Do you want to talk about it?

FRED: ( nodding gratefully as he rubs the back of a begrimed hand across his eyes) Let's have a cup a tea.

( he clambers out the hole and Bert watches him for a beat as a half smile forms on his face)

BERT: (to himself) Friday week .

(Then Bert hurries out after Fred, pleased with himself)

There you go Mark, now I know why you prefer to critique than post.
You're a lazy bastard!!!

This is very true :)

Why do women have foreheads?
So we have a place to kiss them after we cum in there mouth.

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