A premise should be a sentence.
PEEP SHOW
The most anal man in the world shares a flat with the most irresponsible.
FAWLTY TOWERS
A bullying snob runs a crap hotel whilst under his wife's thumb.
Gbus you're ideas are too vague you don't actually know what you're writing, you need to develop your characters, your story your world.
Quote: sootyj @ 17th May 2014, 11:30 PM BSTA premise should be a sentence.
PEEP SHOW
The most anal man in the world shares a flat with the most irresponsible.FAWLTY TOWERS
A bullying snob runs a crap hotel whilst under his wife's thumb.Gbus you're ideas are too vague you don't actually know what you're writing, you need to develop your characters, your story your world.
I wasn't really proposing a premise to Marc. I guess my premise would be - a guy and 2 sociopaths attempt to write a sketch show. I think I am talking myself into a cul de sac now. I will start working on other things in my spare time and if anything comes of the BBC it would be a very surprising bonus.
Thanks for that gbus and well done for engaging again. I know how hard it can be when you bare yourself naked on the internet and your baby that you are proud of gets some negative reaction. And yes I really do wish that was a metaphor.
It's clear you have an idea about what you wish to write about from the first part and the character based essence of it can lend itself to many executions. I am not sure you have got the nuts and bolts laid down, as it were in terms of creating an engine that can drive six, twelve, eighteen episodes, returning series. I think this largely due to the second part and I have already nailed my colours to that particular mast.
I would just say one thing though if you wish to go for Fame as the characters ambition that drives the narrative. And that's is no one cares who the writers of sketches are apart from the writer and some friends and maybe his/her mum. Apart from them it is nobody at all ever.
Well done for writing and submitting something...a lot don't get that far. Good luck with it and I hope you get the response from the BBC you are looking for.
Unfortunately, if you check the T&C's for the BBC Writers room, you can not resend a revised version next time round.
There's probably a dodge to get round that but it is a good point. Like I say they are primarily looking for reasons to reject early.
Quote: Marc P @ 20th May 2014, 1:52 PM BSTThere's probably a dodge to get round that
I saw what you did there. I'm Get Out Of Dodge 
most people call my goody
Now I have posted the text for my radio play (rather than the utube vid) have you\would you had time to see the changes. I would be greatful to hear ur opinion my friend. 
Sorry Good I personally didn't get into it. It's a lot of banter with very few laugh out loud bits for me. The first long bit is just listening in to a telephone call really. You need to hook people in with a story and laugh out loud stuff well before the first minute is up. The scene setting scene needs to be jettisoned for example. Show don't tell as they say ... Even in radio. Sorry not be a thumbs up on it but others may well disagree. Final draft is good. Get on with the next idea now would be my advice.
I think next time you should try harder! 5 days? It's Rube of you to think u can produce sommat, that is better than a lot of peeps here spend 6 mths developing. What is it u want? Coz paid per the hour will not give u the fame u require! I have a face for Radio but my twin would argue. He think u should drop the plot and try again!
We wish u well.
Check out the date of my utube vid... 6mths old. U can not spend a few days getting stoned telling ratcliff & I to get u fine wine. Anything should take longer wish than a stoned weekend
Quote: Marc P @ 20th May 2014, 10:36 PM BSTSorry Good I personally didn't get into it. Sorry not be a thumbs up on it but others may well disagree. Final draft is good. Get on with the next idea now would be my advice.
Hmm, I've started back on another 3 yr old project called "Of Biblical Proportions".
Its about a guy that gets mistaken for Jesus in France, 40ad!
As long as he's not called Brian or Broderick.