British Comedy Guide

What are you eating? Page 689

Peanut butter on toast.

Quote: L.E. @ 8th May 2014, 8:32 AM BST

This is so gross.

http://someoneatethis.tumblr.com/

I am offended some of that food is clearly heimesche

Tunnocks caramel wafer

Chicken. Then some pasta.

The cat had some chicken roll earlier.

Just had a cheese spread and piccalilli sandwich.

The cat had that earlier

Pulled pork burgers. Yum.

Sausage sandwich.

Just started a box of Mr Kipling's 6 Fruity Pies Selection.

Will someone please tell me to stop ! . . . . .

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

in the name of love

Quote: keewik @ 18th May 2014, 6:05 PM BST

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

are you going to think it o over?

Coco Pops. They are tasty, and they remind of the time I first became truly independent.

One morning, back when I was seven years old, I was sitting at the table opposite my father, who was reading the newspaper, and I wanted Coco Pops for my breakfast. I reached for the box, but my dad pulled it away.

'Not today,' he said. 'You're eating too much sugary food lately.'

I gave him a stern look. 'Dad,' I said, 'I want Coco Pops. I haven't even eaten that much sugar lately.'

He shook his head. 'No.'

We looked at each other for a few seconds. 'Look,' I said, 'I either have the Coco Pops or I walk.'

He shrugged. 'Fine. Walk. You know where the door is.' Then he went back to reading his newspaper.

He had made a big mistake. I pushed my chair back, stood, and walked out of the kitchen. I passed my mum on the stairs. 'He's way out of line,' I said.

'Who is?'

'Dad. He can't tell me what I eat and what I don't eat.'

I continued marching upstairs and went to my room. I packed a few things in a small suitcase and headed back down to the kitchen. My father was still at the table, and my mother was washing dishes. I cleared my throat and said, 'Right. I'm off.'

'Don't be daft,' said my mum. My dad just smirked. This was my mum's first mistake, and my dad's second. They thought I was bluffing. They were wrong. I said nothing more and left the house.

My destination was a nearby field. It was there that I would set up camp. I'd packed a few lemons on the way out of the house, so I figured I would sell those to make money. It worked. Within a day, I'd made fifty pounds, which was enough to stay the night at a cheap hotel.

I sold the rest of my lemons the next day, and I'd made enough money to buy more lemons. I was charging way over the odds, so I could stay the night at the hotel again and still afford the lemons. Within a week, I'd set up a lemonade stall. One day, my parents paid a visit.

'Son,' my dad said, 'come back. I was way out of line.'

I remained silent for a few seconds. I wanted to let his mistake sink in. I'd taught my parents a lesson, and they knew I was right and they were wrong.

'From now on,' I said, 'I have Coco Pops as and when I want.'

My mum and dad nodded. I still worked at the lemonade stall for a few years, but I went back to live at home. My parents never questioned me again, and I had Coco Pops as and when I pleased.

About to have sliced topside of beef with chips and lashings of horseradish sauce.

wot no belly draft.

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