Quote: slarnder @ 17th May 2014, 1:44 AM BSTno ,more like 'clown' court....
What's up, Dock?
My Sitcom for Writersroom Page 4
Iactually thought the banter was alright, I think I'm a little better disposed to that sort of thing than a lot of you. But I agree that the characters were undifferentiatable, and the failed writers setting isn't a great place to start.
Some good stuff in there, though, so I's be interested to see another project.
I don't want to appear to be agreeing with anything said so far, because I think there's a lot of opinion handed out as fact in this forum, but at the bottom of this article there's two scripts from an episode of Community; the writer's earlier draft, and a later draft where a lot of it has been rewritten. They're interesting to compare, and see the process in action.
http://splitsider.com/2014/05/community-writer-andy-bobrow-reflects-on-working-with-dan-harmon/
Edit: I say bottom of this article, it's a link within a link.
An opinion can still be fact.
Quote: Marc P @ 17th May 2014, 4:12 PM BSTAn opinion can still be fact.
I'm not even sure it's a fact that that's your opinion.
It is as a matter of fact.
Quote: Marc P @ 17th May 2014, 5:34 PM BSTIt is as a matter of fact.
I'm not convinced. I'm keeping it in the unverified column.
Please don't look for verification of your column in this thread. That is what the funny pictures thread is for. 
Gbus said he didn't want to flog a dead horse and if he was being genuine about that I wanted to give him my facts based opinion 
And I wanted to offer him/her a site I thought might be useful while at the same time 'saving' the link for myself somewhere I can refer back to it easily enough, and at the same time including the caveat that I was in no way endorsing the opinions and views expressed before me. How did our two discourses become so entangled?
Its the internet
In your opinion.
...I say in jest.
Quote: Marc P @ 16th May 2014, 10:29 PM BSTJennie's case for the prosecution. I don't know... It's not exactly Rumpole is it?
This thread has become an epic. I definitely think I can improve on my writing style for sitcoms (I really appreciate your link, JaPi), but I stand by the fact that I think it's funny. And I think my premise and jokes could be put together by someone that knows more about the genre (in a writing sense) than me and a very good show could come of it. In that case, I think it's just a matter of taste.
The dialogue of Iain and Stuart were supposed to be similar because the spend so much time together and are essentially a sociopathic married couple. There should be a clear distinction between their dialogue and that of Alistair's. Perhaps that is not clear.
I accept that it could be put together better and I accept that the premise may have been trodden before (although I think most sitcom premises are very worn and, in most cases, much more so than this), but I stand by the humour of it and it makes me laugh, as well as the people I have shown it to irl. I read a Mrs Brown's Boys script and never even smiled, let alone laughed. I couldn't see what was supposed to be funny. I am not comparing my script to the professional quality of that show, I am just saying that people will of course find different things funny and will sometimes be unable to understand what others see in something.
I am happy with the content of what I have written and with some polish I think it would make a very funny show. Something I would like to watch and something most of the people I know would like to watch. Perhaps we are all weirdlings though
Do an audio recording Gbus which is very easy or a video recording and see for yourself how it plays. I admire your grace and attitude if not this piece or the idea behind it. I am puzzled as to the concept of other people in the know doing a better job and making a very good show. Those sort of people are doing their own stuff or they are not those sort of people. As for weirdlings I don't know but allowances are made for your cultural heritage up there. Remember it is not a fully baked pudding you have presented here, but your idea of what a recipe is. When you say the premise may have been trodden before I am not sure what the premise is here. How would you describe the comedic essence of your show and what is the narrative engine of the show and where do the legs lie?
I'd say the biggest parts of it would be a) Iain and Stuart's inability to cope in the real world after years of academia, anti-socialness and speaking to no one but each other and b) the idea of sacrificing your beliefs in the hope of fame.