British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,561

Quote: Jennie @ 12th May 2014, 9:41 PM BST

I don't care that UKIP are full of whack jobs. I care that they don't have any actual policies, apart from that whole EU shebang.

Apparently they would allow smoking in pubs again. So they are thinking about the important stuff.

As an ex barmaid, who had a non-smoker's smoker's cough for the entire duration of my employment I am utterly outraged at that suggestion.

However, I could have just about coped with my early onset COPD if someone had taught the dirty f**kers how to use an ashtray correctly.

But, we're up to two actual policies.

Overturning 50 years of European integration, destabilising the economy, driving business out of the UK, subjecting us to all the EU rules without any EU benefits etc etc.

And smoking in pubs.

Well, that's 100% more policies than I thought they had.

Quote: Jennie @ 12th May 2014, 9:41 PM BST

Obviously if they are actually just a one issue pressure group --which is all they really are-- then they can continue to let the criminal stuff hang. Which I am sure they'd love.

UKIP's political growth is expanding faster than they could ever have imagined. I predict they'll have a more rounded and detail manifesto by the time the national elections roll round and they have to put up domestic candidates.

I'd rather have no promises then Labour's 'We're going to build houses and hospitals and schools and give everyone a job...and balance the budget...and make flying ponies for all! Squeeeee!' fantasies.

Quote: Jennie @ 12th May 2014, 9:41 PM BST

I don't care that UKIP are full of whack jobs. I care that they don't have any actual policies, apart from that whole EU shebang.

I have searched and searched for a hint of a policy on criminal justice. Cos, you know, if they ever get into power, they might need to think about this kind of crap.

Obviously if they are actually just a one issue pressure group --which is all they really are-- then they can continue to let the criminal stuff hang. Which I am sure they'd love.

I accept this is on a manifesto, but the absolute best I could find was:

"Britain's communities suffer from an unacceptable level of crime and anti-social behaviour. We should overhaul the system to make sentences meaningful,rehabilitate offenders, deport foreign criminals, free up the police from excessive form-filling and tackle nuisance neighbours and anti-social behaviour."

What does that mean? That's almost as bad as the BNP website - in fact it is worse, because at least the BNP have some actual policies, like killing all foreign peadophiles.

Make sentences meaningful? What, get the judge to deliver a poem? Maybe a Bible reading? WTF?

They aren't a political party. I don't think Farage ever thought they would become one. He's just having a bit of fun.

Cameron got it right today

Ukip is doing well because of the recession

It always happens when a country is in recession

A party of nutcases comes along and tries to convince the people it's all the fault of foreigners

The Nazi party did it in the 30's - Germany was a f**king mess and they came along and said ITS THE JEWS FAULT!!! And the idiots agreed and went along with their bullshit

Ukip want to blame all the crap were in now on immigrants and the French, Germans etc etc

Stupid bastards

And the cretins in this country will probably make them the most popular party in the Europe elections coming up

Quote: Jennie @ 12th May 2014, 9:48 PM BST

As an ex barmaid, who had a non-smoker's smoker's cough for the entire duration of my employment I am utterly outraged at that suggestion.

Not every pub will be forced to allow smokers. Many non-smoking pubs will still exist if you ever fancy going back to pulling a pint. Arbitrarily removing choice is the hallmark of a dictatorship.

But perhaps the lack of policies makes Farage an easy target? There's f**k all else to talk to him about, so let's chat about the bloke who thinks a bit of good old fashioned boy on boy rugger will cure homosexuality.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ 12th May 2014, 9:41 PM BST

The relentless media focus on UKIP is out of all proportion to their actual impact.

Totally agree. However they have captured the public mood with a charismatic leader offering real change. Sort of like Obama.

Quote: lofthouse @ 12th May 2014, 9:41 PM BST

What the hell as that got to do with a national newspaper trying to blacken the name of a politician with ludicrous insinuations that she promotes/tolerates/sympathises with paedophiles?

Because you previously tolerated, nay celebrated, the similar lies about UKIP.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 12th May 2014, 9:49 PM BST

Not every pub will be forced to allow smokers. Many non-smoking pubs will still exist if you ever fancy going back to pulling a pint. Arbitrarily removing choice is the hallmark of a dictatorship.

I won't be able to get a job in a non-smoking pub. All the better qualified barmaids will get there first. :(

No - I'll be stuck in the dry ice box, fighting off TB, trying to pick soggy ash, a bit of chip and an unidentified substance that looks suspiciously like spunk out of the ash tray. :(

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 12th May 2014, 9:49 PM BST

Not every pub will be forced to allow smokers. Many non-smoking pubs will still exist if you ever fancy going back to pulling a pint. Arbitrarily removing choice is the hallmark of a dictatorship.

Do I think they should have special pubs that allow smokers? Sure. Why not. Dictatorship? A little over the top. A smidge.

Quote: lofthouse @ 12th May 2014, 9:49 PM BST

Ukip want to blame all the crap were in now on immigrants and the French, Germans etc etc

From their statements, they want controlled immigration, not a flood of low skilled, poorly educated foreign workers. These people who work for less than minimum wage are only good for one group of people - the rich.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 12th May 2014, 9:52 PM BST

Totally agree. However they have captured the public mood with a charismatic leader offering real change. Sort of like Obama.

UKIP are a bit like the Jeremy Kyle Show. You know it's voyeurism, you feel dirty doing it, but you just can't help but watch.

UKIP aren't really a political party.

Rather they're a pressure group masquerading as one. They have one genuine policy it's too have a referendum on in/out the EU.

They're policies exist pretty much to attract floaters and disillusioned voters, so it's lots of minority fairly extremely libertarian and right wing policies.

Quote: Matthew Stott @ 12th May 2014, 9:53 PM BST

A little over the top. A smidge.

Renny? Over the top? :O

Quote: Jennie @ 12th May 2014, 9:53 PM BST

I won't be able to get a job in a non-smoking pub. All the better qualified barmaids will get there first. :(

At least their will be pubs for them to work in.

Pubs were closing all the time before the smoking ban. I know we have now banished smokers to their little shed of ostracision, but surely that is better than dividing smokers and non-smokers into separate camps?

I have occasionally found myself standing outside in the cold, shaking like a leaf because all the good stuff seems to happen on a smoking break :(

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