British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 5,632

Ben has a busy morning and is then off to work between 2pm - 10pm which will be a novel experience.

Ben is wondering if he's perhaps too prone to over-romanticising things. Is it better to be a cynic or a blind dreamer, though?

I think Ben is too prone to talking about himself in the third person

And so is Ben

Is not impressed with Eurovision this year. Not many fun/comical entries.

Got sent someone's script by mistake today.

So do I return it, or do I change my appearance to resemble that person, abandon my humdrum life and start again as someone completely new?

I mean with a passport you can be someone new can't you?
Like in the Bourne Identity.

Problem is it's a kids passport for a 6 year old, so the changing appearance may be tricky.

Also is it worth going back to primary school and starting over from way back|?

Wait, did you get sent a script or a passport?

a passport and I'm considering starting over as a primary school student

You could become a contract killer and the law couldn't touch you, as a minor.

Yes and I could claim Rolfe Harris sent me a letter apologising for having sex with me and sell my story to the red tops.

Tomorrow is another day.

Quote: sootyj @ 10th May 2014, 6:00 PM BST

a passport and I'm considering starting over as a primary school student

They make you stand up all day nowadays. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2623131/Primary-school-Europe-introduce-desks-allowing-children-stand-working.html

Well I wanted to get back into doing standup so it's looking even rosier.

Quote: beaky @ 10th May 2014, 6:12 PM BST

You could become a contract killer and the law couldn't touch you, as a minor.

Indeed, they'd put him in care though - and we'd need to find foster parents for Soots. Something of a tall order, I think!

Ah but I'd keep my old passport and merely adopt myself.

Of course I'd have to give up wanking, as self abuse would become child abuse.

Quote: Jennie @ 10th May 2014, 7:15 PM BST

Indeed, they'd put him in care though - and we'd need to find foster parents for Soots. Something of a tall order, I think!

Shame Fred and Rosemary West are no longer available.

Yes. You'd have to try not to expose yourself to yourself either, the family courts tend not to like that. Always look away when visiting the gents.

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