British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 5,627

Kingman! Are you on??

Quote: lofthouse @ 3rd May 2014, 11:20 AM BST

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, blahblaablaabllablaa bla

Happy birthday yadda yadda

Cream cakes for all

(They're only a few days out of date)

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Thanks. I'll have one of those cream slices with the icing and the fern pattern.

Sorry

Zooo already stuffed em in her cake ole

Quote: lofthouse @ 3rd May 2014, 2:22 PM BST

Sorry

Zooo already stuffed em in her cake ole

*lies on floor and kicks heels and screams in temper.*

Soz.

Here, have my crumbs.

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Bottle bin has just been raided. We live next to a park. So Mr. K is doing his dishes at the kitchen window when a yob leaps up and over the wall, opens the bottle bin, grabs 2 bottles and heads off. Do we leave too many dregs? Are we known to the park alkies as fellow alkies?

sketch in correct thread

MRS ALEXANDER SALMOND
Have we got that awful c**t Cameron visiting us tonight?

ALEXANDER SALMOND
Aye I just got a couple of bottle of wine.

MRS ALEXANDER SALMOND
Red or white?

ALEXANDER SALMOND
Greenish

SOUND OF THE HEAD OF THE SNP PISSING IN ONE, THEN ANOTHER OF KEEWIKS EMPTIES

Must check out the description of the yob with Mr. K. Laughing out loud

Was he fishy, salmony even.....

Actually I kinda like watching him make that shit Cameron jump.

Wee Eck is my hero. Always has been, but he's a fly wee bastard.

Quote: keewik @ 3rd May 2014, 8:41 PM BST

Bottle bin has just been raided. We live next to a park. So Mr. K is doing his dishes at the kitchen window when a yob leaps up and over the wall, opens the bottle bin, grabs 2 bottles and heads off. Do we leave too many dregs? Are we known to the park alkies as fellow alkies?

Perhsps you should put up a sign - 'The Inn By The Park'.

Laughing out loud

Ben can't comprehend why he has a cold at this time of year.

Lots of folk I know have colds. It's an alien invasion. Probably duke of Edinburgh is to blame.

It's the Romanians and Bulgarians.

Vote UKIP to put an end to the common cold.

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