sootyj
Friday 2nd May 2014 10:20am [Edited]
51,287 posts
MORDOR AKA THE OFFICES OF THE DAILY MAIL
DARK LORD DAKER (AKA SAURON)
What news do you bring from our spies at the Mirror?
DEMON1
They've heard Jeremy Clarkson use the n word.
DEMON1 IS DESTROYED WITH A BOLT OF SULPHUROUS HELL FIRE
DAKRE
Silence he is our favourite imp and the one reason we do not annihilate the BBC.
DEMON2
Erm they've got a fat pigeon outside their offices, it might have come from Rumania.
SAURON
Did it shit on a school child?
DEMON2
Possibly my sulphurous lord of Evil.
FRONT PAGE OF THE DAILY MAIL
Rumanian perverts, shit on our kids, eat our rubbish and David Cameron does nothing.
MEANWHILE AT THE SUN
JOURNALIST1 AN ALCOHOLIC IN A STRING VEST TYPE VERY SLOWLY
Fat pigeon, why I gave Peaches Geldof fatal heroin with my cock, rightthat's done, pub.
GUARDIAN
300 SOCIOLOGY PROFESSORS AND HOMOSEXUALISTS IN A CONFERENCE ROOM DRINKING SOYA LATTES
PRETENSIOUS WANKER1
So after 2 days discussion we're agreed on the front page "Equal rights for fat ugly pigeons."
GERMAINE GREER
Ahem
PRETENSIOUS WANKER1
Fat, ugly, gay pigeons.