Invisible character

Here's a technical problem for you. I'm writing a monologue in which the character has a conversation with a character who the audience don't see...think like those classic Rowan Atkinson monologues where he's the waiter or teacher. How do you represent that in dialogue on the page.

Character: Any Questions?

Unseen character: Why is this dialogue so rubbish?

Character: Any non-meta questions not relating to the quality of this example?

That sort of thing...everything should be understood from the character's monologue, I'm just not sure how I represent a conversation with an unseen character on the page.

Thanks
Neil

So you wouldn't see or hear the other character? I suppose in the gaps where the other person is supposed to be talking you could just put (...) as breaks in the characters monologue. Say on the opening description that he's talking to an unseen and unheard character.

If the other character is heard you just put (O.O.V) before each of their lines.

Bit confused - if it is a monologue, why do you need to articulate what the unseen character is saying? Shouldn't that be evident from the monologue?

If the character can be heard but not seen, surely just O.S. (off screen/stage) would do it?

CHARACTER 1
Any questions?

CHARACTER 2 (O.S)
Why is this dialogue so rubbish?

Quote: Matthew Stott @ 30th April 2014, 9:05 PM BST

So you wouldn't see or hear the other character? I suppose in the gaps where the other person is supposed to be talking you could just put (...) as breaks in the characters monologue.

View original

Really? Wouldn't you just leave that to the actor to work out?

Quote: Jennie @ 30th April 2014, 9:08 PM BST

Really? Wouldn't you just leave that to the actor to work out?

View original

Well it depends what the actor is supposed to be saying. I mean, if they are supposed to be replying to stuff that we don't hear, but it's not always super clear with some of the lines at times when something is supposed to have been said. Better to be clear I'd say.

It's one character onstage but responding to lines that another character is saying. Classic example here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4LHLM4WIw0

Only Rowan Atkinson is speaking, but he is responding to dialogue from other imaginary characters

How do you represent that on page?

Do you want to articulate the lines that are being said by the other character?

Why not just say - as mentioned above Voice Out of View?

It's easier surely on the page than to actually do it.

If the audience won't, come the day, hear the 'other' lines, the actors dialogue HAS to make it obvious what has been said or is being responded to.

If it's not clear on the page from his dialogue alone, the thing has failed.

Or am I missing the point?

Agree with Lazzard. The character's lines have got to make it clear that someone else (unseen) is there. Like with the Rowan Atkinson clip, putting questions to the unseen character which you then answer, but all within the lines of the seen character.
Apart from that, just a line describing the scene should be enough, e.g. 'waiter hovers over an (unseen) table of guests'.

Bob Newhart will brill at this kinda thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArMf6xbMsLI

I'm happy with constructing the dialogue in such a way that everything is clear from just one person speaking but unsure of the script formatting conventions.

This suggestion seems pretty sound

Character has shouted argument with (unseen) policeman

Character: What do you mean, 'What am I doing?'

Character: I'm having a fight

Character: Yes, with my shoes.

Okay, that seems clear. If anyone's got any other conventions for this, feel free to add them.
thanks
Neil

Quote: Trinder @ 1st May 2014, 6:46 AM BST

I'm happy with constructing the dialogue in such a way that everything is clear from just one person speaking but unsure of the script formatting conventions.

This suggestion seems pretty sound

Character has shouted argument with (unseen) policeman

Character: What do you mean, 'What am I doing?'

Character: I'm having a fight

Character: Yes, with my shoes.

Okay, that seems clear. If anyone's got any other conventions for this, feel free to add them.
thanks
Neil

View original

Unless you have action between the lines, don't split it up - it'll become tiresome to read.
I would use "..." and parenthicals ie (beat) (pause) - and in this case I reckon it would be valid to put some basic action directions in parenthicals eg (steps back)
But essentially make it one slug of dialogue

The answer to your question lies in another question - why a monologue and not a duologue?
Answer that and it should become clear how to present it on the page.

Well not to me it doesn't.

Why not.........

Character has shouted argument with (unseen) policeman

Character: What do you mean, 'What am I doing?'

Unseen Character: I'm having a fight

Character: Yes, with my shoes.

It wouldn't to you Chappers as you are not writing it!
Form always serves function in these issues.