I have just sent a text to my mum. I predict that she will actually notice she has a text and manage to reply to it in approximately three days.
Things that piss you off Page 1,463
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 17th April 2014, 2:56 PM BST
Hey, 'Look at me in a big dress day' is a goldmine. Every retailer and designer would jump on it like a trampoline made of tits.
Women could literally spend six months prior to 'Look at me in a big dress day' talking about what dress they're going to buy on Facebook.
Remember, you heard it here first.
Sorry to tell you - that's been done. When I was a child there was a tradition that you had to have a new dress for the first Sunday in May. We all used to pray for good weather so we could flaunt our new dresses. I can still remember two that I had.
Quote: zooo @ 17th April 2014, 3:05 PM BSTI have just sent a text to my mum. I predict that she will actually notice she has a text and manage to reply to it in approximately three days.
Aww, my mum's a bit like that. Obviously when she wants my attention the response must be instantaneous.
Of course!
I will never find out where my griddle pan is. 
Quote: Jennie @ 17th April 2014, 3:01 PM BSTOne of my friends is a Style Consultant. You might think that is trivial
We wouldn't have won two World Wars without her. Is that really your friend's 'job'? Does she work 9 to 5 and make a living out of it? Or is it one of those bogus hobbies that middle class women who've married well do to make it look like they have a career? You know, like interior designer?
Quote: keewik @ 17th April 2014, 3:05 PM BSTSorry to tell you - that's been done. When I was a child there was a tradition that you had to have a new dress for the first Sunday in May. We all used to pray for good weather so we could flaunt our new dresses. I can still remember two that I had.
It's time to bring it back. And then cram as much pressure and consumerism into it as possible. I won't be happy until everyone is miserable.
Quote: zooo @ 17th April 2014, 3:08 PM BSTOf course!
I will never find out where my griddle pan is.
RIP Zooo's griddle pan.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 17th April 2014, 3:15 PM BSTWe wouldn't have won two World Wars without her. Is that really your friend's 'job'? Does she work 9 to 5 and make a living out of it? Or is it one of those bogus hobbies that middle class women who've married well do to make it look like they have a career? You know, like interior designer?
It's not really 9-5 because that isn't the nature of the work. I haven't asked for a full financial breakdown but I am lead to believe she is doing OK. I doubt husband's job brings in that much.
And the World Wars argument is silly. We can't all crack the Enigma code, it doesn't render our work instantly worthless.
TTPYO: Trains that terminate before their destination because the train is heavily delayed and according to their statistics it is better to cancel a train than be late.
I have every sympathy for the family of the person under a train at Bedford, but I do not appreciate being tipped out at East Midlands Parkway.
Quote: Jennie @ 17th April 2014, 3:27 PM BSTAnd the World Wars argument is silly. We can't all crack the Enigma code, it doesn't render our work instantly worthless.
No, but we can put things into perspective, particularly with regards to relative importance. I'm sure faith healers are really good at their jobs and provide some sort of comfort to the easily influenced, but I'd rather funding went into more traditional forms of medical science.
Similarly, I'm positive that Wedding Planner involves a lot of organisational and logistical skills, but I'm more inclined to be impressed with the construction efforts of Crossrail.
Obviously I'm approaching the matter from a patriarchal point of view and declaring relative merit, worth and value based upon things actually being built, discovered and achieved. Turning a frown upside down features quite lowly on my table of importance.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 17th April 2014, 2:45 PM BSTWell someone forgot to send me a Misogyny Card.
I texted you but you never reply to your texts for 3 days, as you're usually knitting something misogynistic
But also most weddings I've been to, the guys have been as obsessed about spunking money up the wall as the ladies.
And with writing the speeches, even more so. It's amazing how much some fellas will pay for a few limp titters, much more than the ladies.
Personally all the weddings I've been to that I thought were awesome, involved a big tent, lots of people, booze, a band and less than 5 grand.
The ones that are an expression of ones exquisite taste and 20 grand just seem a bit sad.
Quote: sootyj @ 17th April 2014, 3:40 PM BSTI texted you but you never reply to your texts for 3 days, as you're usually knitting something misogynistic
I've been too busy lobbying Parliament to get them to label naturopathic doctors, colonic irrigationists and Feng Shui advisors as 'key workers'.
nb remember the difference between keyworkers and locksmiths.
Or else you'll lock yourself out of your drum, end up on a community mental health order and still locked out.
What's not to like about weddings?
Well at least for me. I get to wear my best suit (and I do love that suit) - tailor made, nearly black with red silk lining including the trousers, shoes that cost more than a weeks wage and a snazzy tie. And, my wife in her (latest) posh frock n hat looking gorgeous.
You get to go in the pub at 11:00am and down a few cheeky ones before the ceremony. I usually take a silver hip flask for some sneaky nips in the church too - that causes much giggling as it is passed around the pews.
Admittedly, the ceremony can be a bit long winded, especially if it's a catholic wedding but a small price to pay for a long happy fun day.
Plus, I always love to have a boogie at the evening do.
It changing from summer to winter the next bloody day!
Make your flippin mind up weather! 
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 17th April 2014, 3:36 PM BSTNo, but we can put things into perspective, particularly with regards to relative importance. I'm sure faith healers are really good at their jobs and provide some sort of comfort to the easily influenced, but I'd rather funding went into more traditional forms of medical science.
Similarly, I'm positive that Wedding Planner involves a lot of organisational and logistical skills, but I'm more inclined to be impressed with the construction efforts of Crossrail.
Obviously I'm approaching the matter from a patriarchal point of view and declaring relative merit, worth and value based upon things actually being built, discovered and achieved. Turning a frown upside down features quite lowly on my table of importance.
Reminds me of the Al Murray DVD with a serving soldier and a party organiser in the same audience.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 17th April 2014, 3:36 PM BSTTurning a frown upside down features quite lowly on my table of importance.
As a comedy writer, I think that's actually quite a valuable thing to be able to do.
Always thought expression would be great for advertising holidays to australia