a green slobbering alien with 6 legs is at the customs desk ..
customs officer ; 'er , hello how can I help you ? '
alien ' hello earth moron .I wish to enter your country and claim housing benefit and get much free money ! '
officer ' where are you from may I ask ? '
alien ' I am from the planet fjjfllsjdhagagavacsfsospkfjfkjgl !'
officer ' hmmm that sounds foreign - what do you do ? '
alien ' I eat babies, puppies and kittens , and kill old women with a rusty nail ! '
officer ' er .. no , I mean what do you do work wise ?'
alien 'ahh ...on my planet I am a plummer .. '
officer ' oh dear , we have millions of plumbers here in the uk .. most of them are aliens too ..'
alien ' oh dear .. did I mention I can cook ? '
officer ' we have many cooks too ! '
alien 'bugger ... I can also do manual labor '
officer ' hahahaha .. you must be joking - with the recession we are not really buiding much in this country for the foreseeable future '
alien ' oh dear ... oh well , it looks like I am running out of options '
officer ' yes , I am afraid so , looks like you will have to return to your own planet ! '
alien ' wait - did I mention that due to my 6 legs I can run the 100 meters in under 5 seconds ? '
officer ' welcome to the uk sir -the benefit office is 2 streets down on the left !
end
( done this one for the benefits skit comp ..then realised was closed ..DOH !)