Company Policy

I'm having my usual problems with the right kind of dialogue but still.

INT - COMPANY OFFICE DAY

GEORGE, the head of Human Resources/Personnel enters the office of his deputy LES.

LES
Hello George, how was the New York trip?

GEORGE
(enthusiastically)
Oh it was out of this world Les, it really opened my eyes to new ideas and the way they do things over there and speaking of which, I'm bringing in a drug testing policy here now and want you to oversee it.

A WEEK LATER

George enters Les's office.

FX thick smoke everyone.

GEORGE
What the bloody hell's going on here?

LES
The pile on the left is buzzing, top notch gear but the rest of it did nothing for me....(said while puffing away on a spliff and motioning with his head)

lol I actually didn't get it at first. It was o.k. Wouldn't it be better if you saved all these jokes and maybe made them into something better, I think their great and everything, but you ever though of writing them into a stand up routine or something?

You pump out so many, it feels like their being wasted, by us lot just saying, "errr...there ok..." Where if you put them together, even as an entire sketch show, I think you might have something.

Ima, I know what Leevil's saying to some extent. Ideas that could be maturing like a fine vintage in your wine cellar of a comedic brain might be better after a bit more thought. On the hand, putting them up before everyone probably gives you some valuable feedback..?

I'm not sure if you've seen The Day Today but there's a great bit in that where a company in the 70s allows it's employees to use drugs at work. It's one of my favourite bits of one of my favourite shows and your script reads like a segment of that (that's not a cuss).

I agree with Leevil, put them in a sketch show

And I don't just mean randomly and then present us with 20 sketches. Try doing a League of Gentlemen or Green Wing, I'm sure twas you who said you would find it hard to write a sitcom. But there is one right in front of you.

Thanks again for all the advice gents and I suppose my main reason for posting up was the see if anything I wrote was considered good or amusing by others and I would like to see them filmed and shown on say a TV sketch show but don't know if they meet that standard, although I think and hope they would. Plus I don't really know how to take it any further towards reaching that goal.

Even though I have quite a lot of material, as screen time it probably all only adds up to about an hour and as most of it is visual comedy with the joke not being shown until the very end and in a visual form, I'm not sure that it would work as stand-up as such.

My ideal scenario would be to be part of a sketch comedy TV show where there were a few writers where we each clubbed together our stuff that was enough to make say six half hour episodes. I also have some recurring characters and long running gags that would say feature in each episode or the particular sketch would be spaced out between others and each time you returned to it, things had moved on with another joke until you end up at a final ending.

Quote: imamazed @ March 7, 2007, 12:40 PM

My ideal scenario would be to be part of a sketch comedy TV show where there were a few writers where we each clubbed together our stuff that was enough to make say six half hour episodes.

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I think that's a realistic way to try to proceed Ima. I read somewhere that generally sketch shows only have one writer if that writer's an established name. However, if you get it together to film the stuff yourself and get it on the web, it'd make a great calling card (and you'd have complete freedom over the visuals that you've stressed yourself are important to a number of the sketches).