British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,511

Quote: sootyj @ 9th April 2014, 10:12 PM BST

Has there ever been a massacre where someone with AIDS ran around shagging people.

They never pressed charges ! You can't pin that one on me !

Quote: sootyj @ 9th April 2014, 10:12 PM BST

Has there ever been a massacre where someone with AIDS ran around shagging people.

People have also been arrested for spreading HIV by having unprotected sex and one woman was arrested for cutting herself, going to bars and secretly dropping her blood in other people's drinks.

But by far the worst has been the cases of Aids related sprees where blood has been thrown in people's faces. Getting infected blood in your eyes is much worse then getting HIV spunk up yer bum, because there are no natural defences.

You can't catch aids from drinking drops of infected blood!!!!

Can you ?

Quote: lofthouse @ 9th April 2014, 10:19 PM BST

You can't catch aids from drinking drops of infected blood!!!!

Can you ?

Only if you have an open cut in your mouth. Otherwise your stomach acid destroys it.

Next up: Cooties, can you really get it from kissing an ugly girl? You'll be surprised at the answer...after this commercial break.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 9th April 2014, 10:16 PM BST

They never pressed charges ! You can't pin that one on me !

Sounds more like you were trying to pin that one on them

I saw a show once where blokes were talking about deliberately get infected

It's some sort of badge of honour in certain parts of the gay community - being HIV positive

They call it 'getting pozz-ed up'

It involved mucho HIV spunk up the bum and a butt plug

I literally feel ill now...

I don't think there is anyway imaginable that sooty could use this quote out of context.

Quote: lofthouse @ 9th April 2014, 10:26 PM BST

It involved mucho HIV spunk up the bum and a butt plug

Why don't you try, RCP?

Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 9th April 2014, 10:46 PM BST

Why don't you try, RCP?

Does that chat up line ever work

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 9th April 2014, 10:34 PM BST

I don't think there is anyway imaginable that sooty could use c**text.

True I'd never knowingly quote you.

Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 9th April 2014, 10:46 PM BST

Why don't you try, RCP?

Sooty is the real master at these things, any attempt I make will appear clumsy and amateurish, but nonetheless -

How did I drown sooty's pet gerbil?

Quote: lofthouse @ 9th April 2014, 10:26 PM BST

It involved mucho HIV spunk up the bum and a butt plug

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 9th April 2014, 10:57 PM BST

any attempt I make will appear clumsy and amateurish, but nonetheless - Fancy a f**k?

Does that...?

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 9th April 2014, 11:00 PM BST

Does that...?

Surprisingly yes. Cool

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 9th April 2014, 11:03 PM BST

Surprisingly yes. Cool

It might with the ones behind the skip at the back of the kebab shop,

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/campaigners-to-hold-eating-protest-against-women-who-eat-on-tubes-facebook-group-9250213.html

Because everyone is unemployed and has loads of spare time, weird time wasting rubbish like this is now considered important.

Journalist Sophie Wilkinson felt 'hurt and victimised', whilst Tony Burke, founder of the FB page describes it as 'art' and like 'wildlife photography'.

The sit-in protest - like women need an excuse to sit around gossiping and stuffing their faces - will be happening on the Circle Line next week.

No bloody protests on the tube its crowded enough already and itll pong

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