British Comedy Guide

Corrie-style spoof

[An elderly couple BRENDA and PETER (maybe in their eighties) with their middle-aged daughter, TRISH, are seen standing in their living room]

BRENDA: Take a seat dear, Peter & I have something to tell you

[Trish sits]

BRENDA: I'm pregnant

TRISH: Flamin' 'eck! How long for?

BRENDA: 'till the baby comes I imagine

TRISH: Not that you daft haddock! You don't see a problem with this?

BRENDA: No, we knew the risks

PETER: Aye

TRISH: You two can't possibly look after a baby, you're too old!

BRENDA: How dare you! If I had the energy I'd come over there and slap some sense int'ya

[they are about a foot apart]

PETER: Aye

TRISH: Ya daft flamin' cod, if you can't even manage that how can you raise a babby?

BRENDA: Peter's dad said he'd help out

TRISH: He's a 102!

PETER: [mouths the beginning of aye, followed by a confused look, then...] not aye

BRENDA: He's actually 103

TRISH: Ya daft sea bass

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