British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,482

So assuming the vote wasn't rigged.

What would you're suggestion be, should ethnic groups have restricted number of votes.

That didn't work so well in South Africa.

Quote: Jennie @ 31st March 2014, 5:12 PM BST

Just as Jimmy Savile revealed the innate perviness of white British men. Particularly those from Yorkshire. Keep your kids locked up.

Huh? What you takin bout Willis?

Quote: sootyj @ 31st March 2014, 6:29 PM BST

What would you're suggestion be, should ethnic groups have restricted number of votes.

I have a whole raft of suggestions that would make South Africa look like Sweden in terms of liberalism.

UN inspectors at all elections in Southall, Bradford, Tower Hamlets, etc. to combat vote rigging, postal vote fraud, etc.

A ban on any African working in either a housing charity or a housing department with the council.

A Premiership football style foreign player rule for any government infrastructure contract with a minimum of 90% British born workers on site.

And most controversially of all, a skills based immigration policy like USA, Canada, Australia, Japan and every other prosperous First World country on Earth. I know bonkers. :S

Quote: SimonWing @ 31st March 2014, 5:59 PM BST

1) be swiss citizen - C**ty f**k
2) be roman catholic faithful - Bollocks
3) be of good moral and ethical background - Shite
4) have attended the military school in Switzerland - Wot
5) be between 19 and 30 years old - 31
6) be at least 174 cm tall - Yeppers
7) be not married - Yeppers
8) have either a professional diploma or high school degree - Yeppers (3rd-Class)

Didn't know these are the criteria.

1) Yes!
2) I'm catholic on paper- that should suffice
3) think so
4) yes
5) D'oh!
6) yes (only just)
7) yes
8) yes

Not too bad.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 31st March 2014, 6:36 PM BST

Huh? What you takin bout Willis?

:D

Quote: Oldrocker @ 31st March 2014, 2:10 PM BST

Seemingly, the Swissers, who haven't fought a war for 150 years, have more tanks than the UK.

Maybe they bought them with all the fckin money they launder

The climate change is worrying.
And it's going to be hard to deal with just because of greedy twats who just want to make money now and don't care that we won't even have a planet or a human race in the future.

Quote: lofthouse @ 31st March 2014, 10:25 PM BST

Maybe they bought them with all the fckin money they launder

Don't be such clever dickie!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2593446/Man-allowed-HYENA-eat-genitals-witch-doctor-told-make-rich.html

:O :D :O

A HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/apr/01/scotland-driving-on-right-independence-road-scheme

* This was meant for "Things that piss you off" thread *

Quote: Oldrocker @ 1st April 2014, 12:44 AM BST

A HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/apr/01/scotland-driving-on-right-independence-road-scheme

Another great article by Avril Uno-Motley.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 31st March 2014, 2:10 PM BST

Seemingly, the Swissers, who haven't fought a war for 150 years, have more tanks than the UK.

That's the whole philosophy of the Swiss defence policy and it has worked through 2 world wars and dunno how long before. The policy has served them well, hence no wars.

It is simply TOO EXPENSIVE in resources to attack Switzerland.

Most of the population are enrolled in the "National Service" and are trained how to use firearms especially rifles. After training they are reservists and they are assigned at least one weapon which they keep at home.

In the event of attack, all or a large number of the reservists take to the hills (Mountains in Switzerland) and fight the invaders with Geurilla Warfare.

It would be like attacking Afghanistan but even more so.

Even Hitler decided it wasn't worth trying to invade Switzerland.

Quote: billwill @ 1st April 2014, 5:53 PM BST

That's the whole philosophy of the Swiss defence policy and it has worked through 2 world wars and dunno how long before. The policy has served them well, hence no wars.

It is simply TOO EXPENSIVE in resources to attack Switzerland.

Most of the population are enrolled in the "National Service" and are trained how to use firearms especially rifles. After training they are reservists and they are assigned at least one weapon which they keep at home.

In the event of attack, all or a large number of the reservists take to the hills (Mountains in Switzerland) and fight the invaders with Geurilla Warfare.

It would be like attacking Afghanistan but even more so.

Even Hitler decided it wasn't worth trying to invade Switzerland.

Thanks for the summary, Billwill. Still, I don't think you would have a hard time kicking our arses. The quality of our training isn't exactly mindblowing. I had my weapon in my flat until 3 years ago (you lose your reservists status when you reach 34) but I doubt I would have been a John Rambo in the case of an attack. On the other hand, I could have charged my gun with the so called war ammunition (50 bullets) and kill lots of people in the nearest Kindergarten or school, American style, if Iwould have wanted to. Every young Swiss man who did the service could do so, not a nice thought.

Wolverhampton station renamed !

http://www.thefancarpet.com/NewsPage.aspx?n_id=9366

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