Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 26th March 2014, 5:03 PM GMTI liked the one where Fonzie jumped a shark.
Personally, I think that was the precise point at which the show went into decline.
Things that piss you off Page 1,420
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 26th March 2014, 5:03 PM GMTI liked the one where Fonzie jumped a shark.
nice one
what is that happy 100 days bollox.
Newsfax most of you are 30, that means 10.450 days of misery think on that you emotionally needy cretins.
Sootyj author of,
I'm ok, go f**k yourself
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 24th March 2014, 8:14 PM GMThttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apophenia
*Not this time* sunshine !
Quote: Lee @ 25th March 2014, 6:06 PM GMTI'm in favour of immigration. After all, we're all immigrants... apart from billwill, he was carved from the rocks by gods or something.
Though I am an immigrant to England from Wales.
Quote: Chappers @ 25th March 2014, 9:25 PM GMTI am so pissed off. Haven't been able to get into my laptop for days now. I put in the password and the message comes up "The user profile service service failed the logon. User profile cannot br loaded". What the f**k am I supposed to do? Can't keep on on this bloody phone.
Did you not make a separate distinct user account so that you have a different one for administration actions.
Tut, tut...
Use a Linux live Distro CD to rescue your data then do a fresh install of Windows.
Or consult an IT Windows specialist.
Do pissees count on this thread?
i.e., the stray pubes and odd flies that I spray off the toilet rim? Cheaper that Cilit Bang and allows me to hone my willy aim.
My aims got worse the older I get
Sometimes you get three separate independent jets spraying all over the place
I don't know
It's a young mans game this wee'ing lark....
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 27th March 2014, 6:39 PM GMTDo pissees count on this thread?
i.e., the stray pubes and odd flies that I spray off the toilet rim? Cheaper that Cilit Bang and allows me to hone my willy aim.
Lovely.
Mind you, two can play at that game - expect a paragraph on period pain/sanitary products in due course.
I wonder why nobodies invented a laser sight you can velcro to your willy.
Quote: sootyj @ 27th March 2014, 11:36 PM GMTI wonder why nobodies invented a laser sight you can velcro to your willy.
So doggers don't blind pilots?
As for poorly raised men who insist on pissing all over the toilet, there's this wonderful new invention called toilet paper. You get some, dab up your liquid filth and flush it down the bogger.
It really is that simple.
Quote: Jennie @ 27th March 2014, 11:31 PM GMTMind you, two can play at that game - expect a paragraph on period pain/sanitary products in due course.
Is the Funny Women competition back already?
Hmm I think I have an idea for a new techno thriller now Tom Clancys dead
The day of the gentlemans tackle
Wanking jihadis with laser knob sights threaten to bring down airliners.
I've long ago realised if I was too live in the USA for any length of time I'd buy a pistol. A high powered one that held lots of bullets.
I'm mortally afeared of being assaulted by a chimpanzee, as they have 4 times the strength of a human being and are famed for their savagery.
In the USA these creatures can be owned by almost anyone and there is a perennial threat of one escaping and rampaging. A fire arm on my person at all times would give me some sort of a chance.
Quote: lofthouse @ 27th March 2014, 9:27 PM GMTMy aims got worse the older I get
Sometimes you get three separate independent jets spraying all over the place
Quote: Jennie @ 27th March 2014, 11:31 PM GMTLovely.
Mind you, two can play at that game - expect a paragraph on period pain/sanitary products in due course.
Which reminds me - what does a vampire have for breakfast? 
Quote: lofthouse @ 27th March 2014, 9:27 PM GMTMy aims got worse the older I get
Sometimes you get three separate independent jets spraying all over the place
I don't know
It's a young mans game this wee'ing lark....
Sometimes, it comes out almost at right-angles. This means I have to almost face the side-wall to piss. However, as the rate of flow decreases in speed, this miss-direction becomes less, and I find myself slowly turning towards the urinal/toilet as the piss approaches its conclusion.
Pissing with a stiffy is another matter entirely.
Quote: SimonWing @ 28th March 2014, 6:53 AM GMTSometimes, it comes out almost at right-angles. This means I have to almost face the side-wall to piss. However, as the rate of flow decreases in speed, this miss-direction becomes less, and I find myself slowly turning towards the urinal/toilet as the piss approaches its conclusion.
Pissing with a stiffy is another matter entirely.
Well thanks for that...... 
but wee all have our cross to bear. 
It sounds to me that a little trimming of the foreskin might help, and if you give it a good bashing with a wooden mallet first it will be sufficiently numb for you to attack with a sharp pair of scissors.
Any other health problems?
This willy-conversation deserves its own thread.
Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 28th March 2014, 8:16 AM GMTThis willy-conversation deserves its own thread.
Go on then.......you have the power, whereas I am a relatively new and mere hobbledehoy.
Willy you also be starting a vagina thread? 
What about weeing by sonar?
You get up in the middle of the night for a slash and don't want to turn the light on as it will hurt your eyes.
You know where the bog is and so aim until you hear the wee hitting the water in the bowl.......
Well the thread is about what pisses you off