British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,472

Quote: Nogget @ 20th March 2014, 6:14 PM GMT

Very confusing language being used by the media with regard to the search for the lost aeroplane. A potential sighting of wreckage was described as "promising", but I don't think any relatives would really want to make good on that promise.

I think it's promising in that we know what happened to it - some of the theories being bandied about are straight outta crazy town. I'd certainly be more relieved if it turns out to be a leaky fuel tank - the fumes knocking everyone unconscious before turning the aircraft into an explosive fireball - then some of the alternatives.

Or Ukrainian, cyber hacking, terrorist, aliens might have put the wreckage there to cover up the use of the misfiring Chinese military death laser.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 20th March 2014, 6:20 PM GMT

I think it's promising in that we know what happened to it

Exactly, when the only really 'promising' sighting would be of an undamaged plane somewhere.

Quote: Nogget @ 20th March 2014, 6:23 PM GMT

Exactly, when the only really 'promising' sighting would be of an undamaged plane somewhere.

But no passengers or crew? Aliens!

http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26681364

Excellent news on the FGM front.

Quote: Jennie @ 21st March 2014, 1:04 PM GMT

http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26681364

Excellent news on the FGM front.

Definitely a good start. On the downside, it could trigger a lot more 'back alley' FGMs or trips abroad to get the operation. But here's hoping that it sends a message.

http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26710956

I'm no defender of the police, but I'm not really sure what the issue is here - the police must consider all possibilities. Too often mistakes occur because they jump to conclusions too quickly.

Her attacker has been convicted. It's over.

I've spent time working with acid attack victims in places where it is not taken seriously - where people actually believe a woman can "deserve" such a cruel fate. The attacks are not investigated properly.

Maybe she should go there and count her blessings.

Quote: Jennie @ 24th March 2014, 10:06 AM GMT

http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26710956

I'm no defender of the police, but I'm not really sure what the issue is here - the police must consider all possibilities. Too often mistakes occur because they jump to conclusions too quickly.

Yep, they even found information on her computer about a previous acid attack victim. This case was always shrouded in mystery, with the girl's best friend finally convicted after dressing up in a Muslim veil. If someone can be insane enough to throw acid in somebody else's face, someone can be insane enough to do it to themselves.

It is disconcerting the way some people try to blame the police for everything - it wasn't the coppers who put on a niqab and threw acid in a girl's face - but as the assailant doesn't have a big pot of cash to give to her victim, the Met is next on the list.

Still, this gives ammunition to the anti-burka brigade - yet another crime using religious garments as a disguise.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 24th March 2014, 8:11 PM GMT

Still, this gives ammunition to the anti-burka brigade - yet another crime using religious garments as a disguise.

That's why I say false beards should be banned.

Quote: Nogget @ 24th March 2014, 8:20 PM GMT

That's why I say false beards should be banned.

Do thousands of people wonder around the UK in fake beards.

Is there a statistically significant number of people who wear false beards on a regular basis committing crimes assisted by said fake beards.

This knee jerk liberal panic just depresses me.

Too put up my own straw man.

I am so tired of hearing how people don't want religion in their schools or their media.

Unless it's minorities practising their own cultish ways and wrecking their own lives, in an endlessly destructive system of self indoctrination.

From the law society giving the green light to appalling Islamic wills, to colleges being banned from setting a dress code to maintain a safe environment and the far end FGM, forced marriage and the occasional murder.

There is a point that being liberal does not mean being willingly, joyously guilty and ignorant.

Did anyone see that bit on the news tonight about yer illegals in Calais?

Hundreds of 'em again. Running out in broad daylight and climbing under wagons, sitting on the rear axle. Apparently there are a number of Syrians now.

Thing I don't get is how did they get as far as Calais without somebody/country sending them back?

It's a complex one alright.

So PREPARES HIMSELF FOR SECOND RIGHT WING RANT

It's down to how accessible a country it. So Spain, Italy and Israel have tough rules, because basically you can walk there from where you're fleeing, or possibly float there.

England is a bit softer because you either have to get through the tunnel, or by air if you've got an passport and a ticket.

Sweden, Denmark etc are liberal as all out. Because you're only getting there via an expensive flight with passport etc

What we need is an international agreement on refugees, with countries taking a demographically equal number of people where ever they rock up.

And the Mayor of Calais complains that the city can't cope.

Don't let them in the f**kin' country then !

Bet he didn't mind when all those Allied forces invaded in 1944, but then he probably didn't complain when the Germans didn't turn up.

Wasn't born then.

Pitiful excuse.

https://twitter.com/seti2342/status/447760340567478272 Laughing out loud

Quote: Oldrocker @ 24th March 2014, 8:57 PM GMT

Did anyone see that bit on the news tonight about yer illegals in Calais?

I saw that. They've fled from a war torn country to France and then said: 'We can't stay here, it's horrible'.

Now admittedly, Calais is a bit like Folkestone, but if given the choice between some desert hellhole being bombed and gassed or slightly rude French people, all I can say is: 'Bonjour'.

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