BOSS:
Romesh, you've been here for three weeks... and yet you've already managed to screw things up!
ROMESH:
I have? How?
BOSS:
By failing to keep your loony lefty thoughts to yourself.
ROMESH:
Such as...?
BOSS:
'Capitalism? More like crapitalism!' and 'I don't know about you, but I'm mad for political correctness!'
ROMESH:
Ah, THOSE thoughts.
BOSS:
I mean, to think them is one thing, but to actually put them in your monologue...
ROMESH:
Look, I know it was daft...
BOSS:
Then why do it?
ROMESH:
Well, because I thought the BBC was a vast, left-wing conspiracy.
BOSS:
It is. In fact, it's the vastest!
ROMESH:
Well then... what's the problem?
BOSS:
The problem is that conspiracy's don't succeed by being blatant.
ROMESH:
Look, I was just trying to make a good impression.
BOSS:
Yeah, well you failed. Epically!
ROMESH:
So, what happens now, then?
BOSS:
Well, until this blows over, you're gonna have to keep a low profile.
ROMESH:
What, lower than Radio 4xtra?
BOSS:
Ah, good point. Alright, you can stay on Newsjack, PROVIDING you lay off the Marxism!
ROMESH:
Piece of piss.
BOSS:
Oh, and what makes you so sure you can hold your tongue?
ROMESH:
Well listen, I'll be honest with you... you see, I'm actually more of a UKIP man.
SFX: SLAP ACROSS THE FACE
(CONT'D)
Hmm... I probably should've seen that coming!
END