All the people quick to criticise Eric Cantona after his arrest for assault need to stop kicking a man whilst he's down.
That's his job.
Tell us a joke Page 29
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 12th March 2014, 11:22 AM GMTWhat do you get if you cross a sheep with a human?
I didn't know either and the farmer said he would shoot me if he ever caught me doing that again.
I actually like this, because I could see this making people laugh at the right moment in the set.
Quote: Will Cam @ 13th March 2014, 2:29 PM GMTI thought by law that all exhumations had to be done during the hours of darkness
Is that on old joke
It's up there with "Which actress is best for defrosting cows? Thora Hird."
I'm having that one
I saw a porn film online with that Bond actress...
Honor Blackman?
Several of them, have you seen it too?
When I was at uni I was in skull and cross bones. Although she prefers I word it as I was in a relationship with Posh Spice
Quote: AndyGilder @ 15th March 2014, 12:27 PM GMTI saw a porn film online with that Bond actress...
Quote: blahblah @ 17th March 2014, 11:49 AM GMTWhen Although she prefers I word it as I was in a relationship with Posh Spice
Not sure I get these.
I think the first one was word play - On A Black Man. And mine was, skull and cross bones is a secret society but I was implying Posh spice is skinny and angry, so in skull and cross bones = having sex with posh spice
I know what the skull and crossbones was but the joke is still kinda stretchy.
Chris Turner did a similar joke. "I used to have a thing for Posh Spice. It cost my mother a fortune in saffron." It's an easy connection that works on the page.
I suppose if you delivered it right and in the right context, it would work, but on paper the laugh is just falling flat on me.
Thinking about it for the joke to work at all the club would have to be called just "cross bones"
"What's with those f**king pointy things on top of bastard castles?"
"Turrets?"
"No, I just swear a lot."
Nice very, very nice.
I can't quite seem to get this worded right, anyone got any suggestions?
I though I saw Paul Daniels standing outside Specsavers doing a magic trick with a pair of Glasses, but it turned out it was just an optical illusion.
I thought I saw Paul Daniels in specsavers
it was an optical illusion