Sad Ken

Here's a new sketch I wrote. Really I want to put it into a sitcom but I thought I'd write it as a sketch for now.

Let me know your thoughts

INT. PUB. DAY.

TWO MEN ARE SAT AT A TABLE IN A PUB WHEN A THIRD MAN (KEN) LOOKING SAD JOINS THEM

MAN I:
Alright Ken?

KEN:
(SIGHS)
Yeah.

MAN I LOOKS AT KEN AS IF HE FEELS SORRY FOR HIM. MAN I REACHES INTO HIS POCKET AND HANDS KEN SOME MONEY

MAN I:
Here, go and get yourself a pint.

KEN:
Thanks.

KEN STANDS UP AND WALKS AWAY

MAN II:
What's up with Ken?

MAN I:
He's just a little down at the moment. He wanted to start a new life abroad so he set fire to his restaurant for the insurance money but--

MAN II:
(SMILING AND SHAKING HIS HEAD)
He forgot he didn't have a insurance policy?

MAN I:
No. He forgot his wife and kids were sleeping upstairs.

i'm sorry to say but this didn't really do it for me, i guessed it would be something like that from the part about the fire, it may just be me though.

Yes - sorry but not funny. I've not got anything against sick humour - the sicker the better - but there's no gag really. Just an upset man.

If he said he didn't mind the wife being there but not the kids maybe...or even the (cliche) mother in law.

... or how about he moans about no insurance, lost his stereo, TV, furniture, record collection (my greatest worry) etc. And then as an aside mentions the wife and kids.

I'm actually shocked by the reaction as I thought it was funny.

Maybe I need to explian it, Ken is sad but not as sad but not as upset as h should be if he just lost his family, he's more sulking. When the first man mention's the fire I think most people would expect the joke to be that he had no policy which is why I had tthe second man asking that and finding it amusing, then when the first man says his wife and kids were in the building it's a shock.

I never really thought of it as sick. Maybe that says something about me?

Yeah it didn't really do it for me either. I think these sort of bad news jokes usually end with some kind of minor good news to spin them around... "but on the plus side".

But I can't think of anything to suggest.

Maybe the reason I find it funny and no one else does it that really I thought of it as part of a sitcom with Sad Ken as one of the characters and that would be the joke that introduces him. So when I read it I see it more as the beggining of a scene rather then a short sketch. I only wrote it as a sketch to remember it.

Do you think it still would be more sad then funny as a scene in a sitcom?

My problem with the sitcom idea is that you would need to give Sad Ken some depth. THe more depth you gave him, the less funny and more er, sad that kind of scenario would become. On the plus side you communicate it very clearly and concisely.

The thing is in your head you probably knew exactly what the tones of voice/actions etc are but in writing we all had to guess. Istill think it needs a bit of a build up in the middle.

Okay, I've taken everyone's advice and have changed the sketch.

INT. PUB. DAY.

TWO MEN ARE SAT AT A TABLE IN A PUB WHEN A THIRD MAN (KEN) CARRYING HIS HEAD DOWN JOINS THEM. KEN SITS THERE SULKING

MAN I:
Alright Ken?

KEN:
(SIGHS)
Yeah.

MAN I LOOKS AT KEN AS IF HE FEELS SORRY FOR HIM. MAN I REACHES INTO HIS POCKET AND HANDS KEN SOME MONEY

MAN I:
Cheer up mate.

KEN CONTINUES TO SULK

Here, go and get yourself a pint.

KEN:
Thanks.

KEN STANDS UP AND WALKS AWAY

MAN II:
What's up with Ken?

MAN I:
He's just a little down at the moment. His business was doing badly so he set fire to his restaurant for the insurance money but--

MAN II:
(LAUGHS)
He forgot he didn't have an insurance policy?

MAN I:
(LAUGHS)
No nothing like that.
(PAUSE)
He forgot his wife and kids were sleeping upstairs.

MAN II LOOKS SHOCKED

MAN II COMPOSES HIMSELF

MAN II:
At least he got the insurance money.

Quote: David Chapman @ March 6, 2007, 11:12 PM

... or how about he moans about no insurance, lost his stereo, TV, furniture, record collection (my greatest worry) etc. And then as an aside mentions the wife and kids.

View original

I like this idea a lot Dave.

Bam, I think the original could be a decent start to an introduction to Sad Ken as part of a bigger project.

Yes - it could be really good - a man who's lost everything including wife and kids. I'm not being ironic. I don't think it's ever been done before. As Scott says it could be the start of the first episode. Then you could have him trying to rebuild his life with everything conspiring against him. (I am actually being really serious)

Quote: David Chapman @ March 8, 2007, 8:34 PM

Then you could have him trying to rebuild his life with everything conspiring against him.

View original

If it were the start of a series, I like the idea that in some regards perhaps he's really lucky and fortunate but never sees it.