Gazza Sketch

Gazza is wearing a hospital robe and sat on a chair.

Gazza: Me, Paul Gascoigne? Mad? All I was doing was trying to extract some uranium out of a hotel porters skull. Maybe a claw hammer wasn’t the best way to state my intent, but I really needed that uranium. I needed it to power me rocket to the moon. I reckon that’s where Madeline McCann is. If I'd rescued her then I'd be a national hero again. (SHAKES HEAD) But now I’ve been sectioned. (SIGHS) I'm only allowed one phonecall a day, so I'm gonna ring me son later. He hasn't spoke to me for a few years, but I wanna see how his move to Bridgend went. I hope he don't hang up.

ENDS

I Love Gazza so anything on him i just dont like!.

Ahoy, not bad, quite funny! But is this another round of wack the poor taste button and watch the moles jump!

Have you seen the request list for Treason? They've asked for Gazza stuff as well as Brigend stuff. I've trodden carefully around the Bridgend bit as they asked. I don't think it's in such terrible taste.

You seem to flood this site with stuff Winterlight, and sorry most of it is very poor indeed.

To be honest anyone who writes the gag, "I've got a criminal record as long as a thalidomide's arm." on his 'My Space' site definately wasn't at the start of the queue when God was giving out writing talent.

Sorry , it had to be said mate. Don't give up the day job.

Quote: Nigel Tufnel @ February 22, 2008, 5:43 PM

You seem to flood this site with stuff Winterlight, and sorry most of it is very poor indeed.

To be honest anyone who writes the gag, "I've got a criminal record as long as a thalidomide's arm." on his 'My Space' site definately wasn't at the start of the queue when God was giving out writing talent.

Sorry , it had to be said mate. Don't give up the day job.

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Give it a rest.

So James you find the line "I've got a criminal record as long as a thalidomide's arm." the work of a good writer do you ?

I am just trying to save the guy a lot of time and effort that's all.
Perhaps he should put his energy into something that he is better suited to because ,lets face it, he's not gonna make it as a comedy writer is he.

He's still young, he could be a success at other stuff. Why indulge him ?.

Quote: Nigel Tufnel @ February 22, 2008, 5:55 PM

So James you find the line "I've got a criminal record as long as a thalidomide's arm." the work of a good writer do you ?

I am just trying to save the guy a lot of time and effort that's all.
Perhaps he should put his energy into something that he is better suited to because ,lets face it, he's not gonna make it as a comedy writer is he.

He's still young, he could be a success at other stuff. Why indulge him ?.

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I think it's bloody harsh to say that sort of thing to someone, whether you believe it to be the truth or not - I'm not on some crusade to weed out what I perceive to be bad writers.

Why not treat each individual sketch/piece as that, and critique accordingly? If you don't like any of his sketches I'm sure he'll get the message.

As for the sketch - I thought it were ok. Seemed more like an idea that needed redrafting IMO - I'd've liked, for instance, more of a build-up before we got to the line "to build me rocket to the moon" where the audience is wondering if Gascoigne is sane or not. But I thought it had some merit - and it was short!

Can we leave this interaction, it's wasting time in which you could be praising my wonderous efforts (got it this time Aaron). To be honest it gets a CGNR (could get on News Revue), not neccasairly the highest praise, and they've used some lines of mine that have been worse. If we make critiquing personal we run the risk, of upsetting the delicate spiders web of trust, that means people put stuff up because they genuinely want feedback. Mess with that enough and you could destroy something quite meaningful.

Winterlight it's ok, it's what I call a "shout out," that is a very obvious skit that name checks what every one is in the audience are thinking. It's very CGNR, I've written similar stuff before, and had some success.

Yep.

"I've got a criminal record as long as a thalidomide's arm."

If you knew my personal history you might realise why I am so critical about that particular line. But to be honest, if the rest of his stuff was of a high or even average standard, I might have left it.

Ricky Gervais get's away with being occasionally grossly insensitive because he is also a comic genius. Enough said.

I'm sorry, Pete, but you can't come down on a joke simply because the subject has affected you in some way.

Say you've got a stand up comic doing his routine. It's likely that at least one thing in their set will be relevant to individuals in the audience. The rest of the material will be something hasn't affected them. If we followed your idea of 'niceties' then comedy would consist of people saying nothing.

Quote: sootyj @ February 22, 2008, 6:11 PM

If we make critiquing personal we run the risk, of upsetting the delicate spiders web of trust, ........

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Very wise soottyj. I agree whole heartedly, but you also have to accept that sometimes people press buttons that make it impossible not to react.

I can just about stomach insensitive bullsh1t when it's funny, but when it so clearly isn't I feel it is right to respond.

I'm absolutely amazed anyone is picking out Winterlight as a bad writer with no hope of making it in the writing business.

If everyone on this forum were arranged in order of comedy writing ability, Winterlight would be a very long way from the bottom of the list, I assure you.

The above sketch is funny.

Also, Winterlight gives every indication of being a very nice guy.

Why would anyone on a comedy forum kick a very nice guy who writes funny stuff?

Also as a fat person I may decide to eat Jillian McKeith for her unending persecution of my people. Mince her and Jamie Oliver up into a giant Turkey Twizzler.

Ha she'll never get her hands on a bucket of my number 2s